Childish Urges
by twilightslittleangel
Summary: I knew that Clint could be childish, but I didn't know how childish.
1. Ponies

**Greetings, fine people. This is a bit of a collection of fics, and expect updates every so often. I think there are six or seven little ideas I wrote down, so probably an update eatch day for however many chapters there will be. **

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Fury sent me out on a solo mission, promising that it was an easy job. It was, but I still managed to cut myself, and narrowly miss getting a bullet lodged in my arm. On the way back to the tower, the medics cleaned me up, and bandaged up my cut. On the bright side, I got a few of the seasoned agents, so they knew what to do so I didn't have to give orders. It was nice to not have to wake up Bruce, or disrupt him, so that he could fix me up.

Once they dropped me off at the tower, I unlocked the front door and walked into the lobby. All the lights were off or dim, and I could barely make out the sign on the elevator. Assuming that it meant that it was closed, I took the stairs. Needing to run off my adrenaline, I sprinted up the many levels of stairs. The kitchen seemed to be empty, so I went and got myself a granola bar, just to supply some calories before I slept. Sleeping on the couch had never sounded like such a great idea before.

Bruce and Tony were awake, because I could hear then down the hall in the lab. They were squabbling over what kind of music they would listen to, Tony obviously wanting to listen to his rock, while Bruce wanted classical. As long as I didn't have to break up a fight between them, physical or verbal, I'd be okay with it. I just wanted to watch some stupid tv show and sleep.

I stretched out on the couch, feeling the side tables for the remote. Someone had accidentally left the tv on, and some children's show with animated ponies started playing. The pink one with the outrageous hair was blabbering on in her really high pitched voice. Giving up on finding the remote, I got up and turned off the tv. Once I laid down though, and stretched my legs across the plush couch, the tv turned back on.

"Really?" I got back up, turned off the tv, and went back to trying to sleep. I repeated this, before I thought of what could be going on. I switched on the lamp, and sure enough Clint was sitting on top of his bookshelf, beer in one hand, remote in the other. He was wearing a very serious look.

"Please stop turning off the tv. I haven't seen this episode of My Little Pony yet, and as much as I love you, I need to watch this show. It is amazing!" I groaned, rolling my eyes. He jumped off the bookshelf and came to sit with me on the couch. Before I knew it, I had fallen asleep with my head on his lap, listening to his girly, little kid show.


	2. Coloring

**"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living." -Dr. Seuss**

* * *

When I woke up that morning, I felt like I had slept in. The sun was shining outside, coming through the windows. Thor was wandering about, trying to decide what he should try to accomplish that day, very comically talking to himself. I heard some talk in the kitchen, and when I stood up, my head spun. Steadying myself, I went into the kitchen. Steve and Tony were in there, so Clint was there too, most likely. Bruce must be sleeping off his late night of working, or he was on his fifteenth cup of coffee, working on whatever his latest idea was.

"Good morning, little princess. You must have had a rough night." As much as I don't like being called a princess, I ignored Stark and went straight to the coffee machine.

"Why is the coffee pot empty?" I moaned, leaning against the counter, stretching my arms above my head.

"Because you fell asleep during Katniss' My Little Pony marathon, and it's eleven in the morning. Speaking of my little archer, do you know what happened to Legolas? I have a feeling you have something to do with his mysterious dissaperance." Steve was only in the kitchen for a short time, just to make a nutella sandwhich. He almost liked nutella better than peanut butter, so Tony made sure they always had a jar.

"I'll go find him, then I'm going out to get some coffee." I murmured, pressing a hand to my head. My forehead was drenched with sweat, because I slept in my suit, and the couch was very warm. The mission must have rally tired me out.

"So, like a date with lover boy. How romantic. Should I go and hire a private violinist, so you can have background music?" I glared at Tony, and he almost shut up. "I"ll take that as a no."

On my way down the hall, I stopped at my room and peeled off my suit. Finding a pair of shorts and a tank top, I slipped those on while I went down to Clint's room. When I opened the door, he was lying on his stomach with a box of crayons and a coloring book. He was coloring a drawing of Iron Man with a pink crayon.

"What are you doing?" I asked, almost sure I was seeing things.

"I'm coloring. You sure did fall asleep fast after that episode ended last night. That mission you were sent on must have been really fun to tire you out so fast."

"I was wondering if you wanted to come with me to get some coffee, but if you're busy I'll just go myself." As I turned towards the door, he asked if I wanted to color with him. Looking into his grey eyes, and being unable to resist, I decided I didn't need coffee. There was something about him that always put butterflies in my stomach. I got to color out of a coloring book he bought just for me, one with princesses in it. Even though it would pain me to admit it, I really did enjoy coloring with Clint.


	3. Babby

**"In a world where everyone seems to be larger and louder than yourself, it is very comforting to have a small, quiet companion." -Peter Gray **

* * *

Tonight, Clint and I have the entire Stark tower to ourselves. Fury gave us some time off, after sending us on a mission to the underground city in Montreal. The people there were scary looking, and the men we were after had a hoarding issue with weapons. We managed to get rid of them, but Clint had gotten a bullet in the leg, and I had a deep gash on my side.

I had tried to shower and go to sleep, but I had been drugged out and as a result, I became a little slow and uncoordinated. My bed felt too cold, too uncomfortable. It was if someone had stuffed it with bricks and Bruce's textbooks. Even though I loved Clint dearly, I didn't want to bug him, so I tried my hardest not to run to his room, where I knew that I'd fall asleep.

After spending two hours on my uncomfortable bed, twisting and turning, being unable to fall asleep, I gave up.

Stealthily sneaking down the hall to Clint's room, I thought about how much of a fool Tony was, putting our rooms so close together. For a moment I wondered if he had put up cameras, and caught me sneaking to his room, but remembered that I did routine checks for electronics in this hall. If there was even the littlest camera embedded in the wall, I'd know about it. I cracked open the door to see if he was asleep. He almost was, but when he heard the door I saw his eyes try to open.

"Tasha..." He mumbled before rolling over. I couldn't help but notice that he had a purple stuffed badger embraced in his arms, where I was supposed to be. I bet that badger has been around longer than I, so why didn't he tell me about it? Was it possible I was getting jealous of a stuffed badger?

I crawled into bed and tried to snuggle in, but he was holding his purple woodland creature. The bed was a bit warmer, and as I predicted, I fell asleep quickly. While I was sleeping, I dreamt that I was being mauled by badgers.

His alarm went off, which was weird because Clint never used his alarm clock. I rolled on top of him to turn it off, and then got up and turned on the light. He had put his picture of Ironman and my princess that I colored up on the wall, next to a collection of pictures he had colored of himself. Putting the blankets back on him, I realized he had a pink throw blanket with balloons on it. Why did my secret husband have to be so childish? That's when he woke up.

"Nat? Oh no, oh no, oh no...Do you know where Babby is?" He asked, in a panic. I didn't know who Babby was, so I just stood at the foot of the bed in my undergarments. It felt a bit ridiculous. A grown man was worrying about his stuffed animal, when his half dressed wife stood by his bed. When he found his purple badger, he held it tightly to his chest.

"What's with the stuffed badger?" I asked, scooting beside him on the bed.

"His name is Babby, and I got it as a present from Coulson." I sighed, gave him a kiss on the cheek, then went to go get coffee.


	4. Barbie & Ken

**"You know you've made it when you've been moulded in miniature plastic. But you know what children do with Barbie dolls- it's a bit scary, actually." -Cate Blanchett**

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"A long time ago the pretty Princess of New York had been kidnapped by an evil monster. The King offered the man who saved her the opportunity to marry his daughter. Since she was very pretty everyone wanted to try and save her. Then, one day, Hawkeye and his amazing strength and good looks, went to the monster's cave with his bow and arrow, and two of his best friends to come with him. 'Steve, you go over there and shout if you see the monster. Tony, you go over there and shout if you see the monster too.' He crept along with an arrow, ready to be shot into the heart of the monster. As he walked along, he came across the monster, a great big, horribly ugly-" Clint stopped when I opened the door. I didn't know when would be the best time to walk into his room when I could hear him playing, but I decided that during the most exciting time would be best.

"Darling, what are you doing?" For a moment I was afraid, because he was holding a Hawkeye doll, and in the other hand there was an orange pony. Not too far away, there was a redheaded barbie doll wearing a suit that looked an awful lot like mine.

"Nothing, just playing with my action figures." I looked at him with a look of dissapointment.

"No, Clint. They're dolls." He shook his head, and stuck his tongue out at me. "Just because we're secretly married doesn't mean you have the right to stick your tongue out at me. If I see that tongue one more time, I'm cutting it off." He looked a bit heartbroken now, as if I had hurt his feelings. How could I have harmed his fragile, childish heart? By being a mature, responsible, cold, heartless, human being.

I walked back to the living room where I was reading my book, and thought that Clint would have wanted to go down to the gym to spar for a few hours. Thinking back to how he looked so sad when I told him that I would cut off his tongue, and when I called his action figures dolls, this weird feeling overcame me. I almost felt bad for doing it. Running to his room, I opened the door and asked if I could play.

"You can be this action figure'' He said, holding out the redheaded barbie doll.

"Clint, why does the doll look like me?" I asked, and he blushed. After stuttering and fidgeting for a bit, he finally explained.

"Because I wanted a doll version of you to go next to my action figure of myself. That and so when you're gone I have someone to talk to." It was sort of sweet, in a way. The rest of the day I played 'action figures' with Clint, and didn't regret any of it.


	5. Suction Cups

**"Superheroes? In New York? Give me a break!" -Stan Lee, The Avengers**

* * *

Thunder boomed and it started raining as soon as we got all the Avengers on the roof, playing Twister. There was something about playing stupid games on the roof that made the idea sound so much more interesting, so everyone played. But the rain changed the competitive spirit in Steve.

"We should go back inside, we don't want to ruin the game." I was all for playing Twister in the rain, and so was Clint, but in the end we went inside.

"Since you suggested going inside, Steve, we're going to further your knowledge of the 21st century!" Tony said, carrying a stack of dvd's that were 'essential' to understand what he missed. I was sitting on the end of the couch, Bruce beside me. Clint was sitting on the bookshelf, looking like he was up to something. Thor was sitting on the other end of the couch, playing with the lamp.

Eventually, Tony held up two movies. The first one had a pair of red lips on it, with a dark haired, half dressed, drag queen on it, and in over dramatic letters it read 'Rocky Horror Picture Show'. The other movie was a bit more mellow looking, with two pale people on the cover of it, a girl and a boy. That one was called Twilight.

"I've decided that you need to watch both of these, so we're going to start with Twilight." Clint and I groaned. We both had heard about this movie, and the horrible things it did. Bruce had been in some third world country, healing the poor, so he had exscaped the evil grasps of this terrible thing.

When the movie finally started, and we had been introduced to our paper bag of a main character, I glanced at the bookshelf, and Clint wasn't there. I just assumed he was in the bathroom vomiting, or getting a beer. He didn't return until we started Rocky Horror. I hadn't seen this one, and from the begginnning it seemed rather simple, until they got to the Frankenstein Place. Watching Steve's reactions made this movie better, because his face turned incredibly red, and you could see him trying to makes sense of the movie. Tony was singing along. Clint arrived in time to see Tim Curry's entrance, and he looked suspicious. Apart from the beer, he looked like he was up to something. When he caught my glance, he put a finger over his lips. Oh no.

At first it started out as a lone arrow with Christmas lights on it. Then he started sending more and more, hitting his targets. Somehow they didn't make noise, and so no one noticed, except me. He shot one to Steve's sheild, and to the lamp Thor had been playing with. Silently sliding down the shelf, he plugged in the lights. All at once, the room was a mixture of the bright bulbs shining a combination of colors.

"Turn the lights off!" Tony shouted, but when he looked up, he saw the Christmas lights. Clint shot him with an arrow, not a real one, but the ones he used to put the lights up. With the suction cups on the end. Realizing that they were suction cups, I cradeled my head in my hands as I shook with laughter. He stuck an arrow to Thor, Steve, and Bruce before jumping down and running as far away as he could. Why the grown men had toy guns and bows I didn't know, but I did have my phone out for most of it, so I had blackmail for later.


	6. Nap

**Can I put a thank you out there for all the kind, loving souls that favourited/reviewed/added this little piece of magic to their alert lists? Will that do instead of a quote about this chapter, since I feel the title is enough explanation? **

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I let the boys play a while longer, so I started making lunch. No one had ever taught me how to cook, but I figured out how to make grilled cheese sandwiches. Making a loaf of bread worth of the sandwiches, I sat them on the table and called the boys to dinner. Would I have taken the job at SHIELD if I knew that I'd be babysitting grown men? Probably not, but what could I do now? It was obvious that they needed to let out all the pent up childish urges, but why right now, and inside the house? Believe it or not, it is quite hard to clean blood out hardwood floors.

Once everyone had washed their hands, I let them eat all the food they wanted. Taking my sandwich, I sat down at the table with them, slowly picking away at the gooey mess I created. The boys ate it quickly, and went back to the movie. Clint was still sitting at the table though, waiting for me to finish. I thought he'd go back to the movie.

"Nat, can you tuck me in?"

"Why do you need to be tucked in?"

"Because it's nap time." For a moment I was going to roll my eyes, and tell him to grow up, but maybe that's what he needs. Then he'll stop being so ridiculous.

"I'll tuck you in. Just let me finish my food." Sure enough, when I went to put him down for his nap, Clint started playing again. I grabbed his arm and dragged him into his bed. Tucking him in, and passing him Babby, he asked me to cuddle in beside him. Not in the mood to argue, I slipped in beside him.

"Go to sleep." Sure enough, he did.

Never again am I going to take a nap, even if it does feel really nice to relax. When I woke up, he was gone, and I heard screams down the hall. Cautiously, I took out one of my guns, and slunk down to where the screams were loudest. Tony was holding Babby in his clutches, and Clint was curled up in a ball on the ground, too manly to cry, but still upset. I pointed the gun at Tony.

"Give Clint back his badger." I spoke through closed teeth. I was enjoying my nap, and he ad disturbed me. He was going to pay for his sin.

"Fine, fine. Please don't shoot my head off." He tossed Babby to my pathetic husband before pulling out a hot pink camera. "This camera has proof that you two are sleeping together." I laughed. "If you don't put that gun down, I will put these all on the internet, and email them to Fury." Aiming the gun carefully, I pulled the trigger. Not too long afterwards, all tony was holding was the remains of his pink camera. The rest had been shot into tiny pieces, scattered all along the floor. The bullet had embedded itself in the wall.

Clint eventually stood up again, clutching Babby in his arms, and walked back to his room. Exchanging the purple badger for his fake bow and arrow, he chased down Tony.


	7. Uranus

**The noxious gases of Uranus could kill a man. **

**That was low on my behalf. I'm very sorry. **

* * *

I sipped on my second cup of coffee, and sat on the counter. The boys were in the kitchen eating breakfast, chattering like excited monkeys about anything and everything. No one noticed Bruce had come into the kitchen until he started murmuring excitedly to himself. I noticed he had taken a shower, and put on a clean shirt, so he was going to leave the lab today.

"Why are you so chipper this morning?" Steve asked, as Bruce rummaged around the cabinet for a travel mug.

"Tonight is the first time in a while that you can see Uranus with the naked eye!" He exclaimed, before going off about how he had spent all night planning this, and that he was going to take his little van out to the countryside and gaze at the stars and the planets all night. Bruce was so merry that it made me cringe. All he needed to do was put on a pair of ruby slippers and he'd pass as Dorothy. Clint started laughing.

"Bruce said Uranus!" His body shook with laughter, and eventually Tony caught on.

"You can't see your anus with the naked eye? That's normal, Bruce!" Steve blushed, thinking that this conversation had gone to the dogs, most likely. I knew that it had, and was working on my exit strategy. Clint and Tony laughed on, as Thor just sat there looking confused, like he usually did.

"It isn't pronounced that way though, it's pronounced ura-nus." Bruce said, trying to calm things down. That was the last thing I heard him say, because I had started down to the training room.

After I beat down a bunch of punching bags, making them fall apart as they flew across the room, I heard some footsteps. I knew who it was, I could tell by the way they walked.

"I'm sorry about my embarrassing outbreak at the planet Uranus." Clint said, casually standing beside me as I fired round after round into moving targets. I didn't miss a single one.

"It's okay Clint, there was a time I found the name funny too. But to make up for embarrassing Bruce, we are all going to go stargazing with him, and you will be on your best behaviour. Go tell him that, and that you're sorry."

Later that night, we all had set up site in a large field, with a great view of the sky. Tony and Bruce were setting up the telescope, while Steve was setting up the lawn chairs. Miraculously, the sky was clear, so you could see all the stars it seemed. It was clear that this was a big deal for Bruce, and before he put his eye up to the telescope, he looked at me a smiled.

"Tasha, do you think that they're going to miss us of we disappeared?" Clint asked, with a smirk on his face. It was so dark outside that no one could see us completely, but they knew we were sitting in our respective chairs. I didn't need anything else to feed the gossip generator that is Tony Stark.

"Yes, I do. We can't leave them here, Tony might do something stupid. Plus, Thor might misunderstand something, and then we all will be in trouble."

"I still think that they won't miss us." Clint said, squeezing my hand.

"You're awfully romantic for a master assassin."


	8. Torture

**"Excuse me, I happen to be a remorseless assasin." -Diego, Ice Age 4**

* * *

Never again am I going to spar with Clint. I'll fight with Steve, heck even Tony, before I practice with Clint again. He had come into the living room after lunch and asked if I wanted to spar with him. Thinking that it was going to be like every other time, I agreed and we went down to the training room. Dragging out a mat, I flung myself at him, twisting and turning, trying to get out of his reach, and to pin him down. I wondered why he wasn't trying as hard to pin me down, but instead started tickling me.

Back in the day, before we were part of the Avengers, we had decided that if we were going to practice fighting each other, we needed rules. So we had the normal ones, where you weren't supposed to hurt anyone, but there was also one that he had insisted on. That we weren't allowed to tickle. If he hadn't mentioned it, I would have. At that time, I had some serious issues with other people touching me. Even though that problem had decreased, I still didn't like to be tickled.

Eventually he had me trapped underneath him. Tickling my sides, I laughed until I cried. As much as I tried to get him off of me, and to pin him, there was just no way to move him when he got on top of me. So I was stuck, and getting tickled. Wiggling backwards, I tried to crawl out, but to no avail, it didn't work. I flipped over and tried crawling away, but that didn't work either.

I finally managed to get Clint off of me, I stood up and punched him squarely in the jaw. You could hear my fist when it made the impact on it. Clint held his face in pain, and as I went to go get an ice pack for my precious little moron, I found Tony standing in the doorway, with a giant smirk on his face.

"So that's what it's like when I'm not around to hear it." I almost slapped him. "So what was that deciding, who's room to sneak off to?" Ignoring the self called genius, I went to the freezer and pulled out a bag of ice. Steve was in the kitchen, doing a crossword puzzle.

"Natasha, what's a six letter answer for 'Fashion Designer/ My Little Pony'?" He asked, ignoring the bag of ice in my hand. I thought for a second.

"Rarity." Oh God, his stupid childrens show had started getting to me. I understood the appeal of it though, now. It is a pretty show, with good characters and morals.

Back in the training room, I threw Clint the ice before going back to my room to shower. It had been a long day, and it took all my control not to pour myself a drink.

After supper, as I was finishing up with putting away the leftovers, I heard Thor's thunderous laughter coming from the living room. When I went into the room though, they sat there pretending to watch the news, or whatever show as on the tv. Thor laughed again.

"Lady Widow, you sound adorable when you laugh."

The look I shot Tony was cold and icy, and the fear in his face wasn't there like it was supposed to. Never again was I going to spar with Clint, not after tickling me. I don't like being tickled.


	9. Hair

**"Better clench up, Legolas." -Stark, Avengers**

**Also, if you'd like updates and stuff about this story, and other fun stuff, go look at my profile. **

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Tony had sugested we go out for Shawarma again, to the same little joint, at the same table. Ever since Loki and the Chitari, we made frequent stops there to eat, usually when no one could agree on what to make back at the tower. Clint and I still sat beside eachother, holding eachother's hands underneath the table.

"What's the difference between civil and mechanical engineers?" Bruce asked between bites. When no one answered, and blank stares were exchanged, he answered his own joke.

"A mechanical engineer builds weapons, a civil engineer builds targets!" He chuckled, and eventually Tony did too. Clint must have been hungry, because he finished his plate just after Thor did. It seemed that Thor was a bottomless pit, and no matter how much he ate, he never got fat. I found it rather unfair, because I had been on a regulated diet to maintain my weight. My uniform cost quite a bit of money, so if I outgrew it, there would be problems.

For a few moments I worried what Clint was thinking, because he had taken out a pen and started drawing on his napkin. He drew a picture of me eating. It looked nice, but instead of letting me keep it, he folded it and put it in his pocket. Surely he didn't have a scrapbook or photo album that was dedicated to me. He already had a barbie doll.

When Steve was done eating, Clint challenged him to tic-tac-toe, so they shared the pen, and Steve's napkin. From what I had gleaned from the groans and exclamations, Clint sucked at that game. He could play anything else quite well, but I guess that game took the stragety that only Steve could supply.

Eventually, he stopped playing so that Steve could teach Thor how to play the childish game that kept everyone's attention. Clint was watching me eat and fiddling with his hands. Just as I stopped paying attention to him, he reached out his hand and touched my hair. I ignored it, but it soon made it's way to twirling and braiding my short, untameable hair. It was beginning to get irritating. Soon, he was bouncing my curls. Pulling on the bottom of the short little wave, and then letting go, and repeating that whaat seemed a million times.

"Gosh darn it, Barton!" I said, leaning my head out his arm reach. Everyone else stopped watching the tic-tac-toe tournament, and looked at me. This included most the the waiters and waitresses that we knew, and most of the other customers.

"Ooooh, she used your last name. You're in trouble, Merida. Better take your stuff out of her room!" Tony taunted. Clint slowly withdrew his hands, and folded them in his lap.

That night, I moved his bed onto the roof.


	10. Dress Up

**"There was an idea to bring together a group of remarkable people, so when we needed them, they could fight the battles we never could..." -Fury, Avengers**

* * *

Today was my day off, so like any other super spy, I went shopping for more shoes. All my nice shoes had blood on them, and that wasn't acceptable to wear when I'm trying to kill other people. It just didn't seem fair to the person I was killing, at least. But when I got back to the tower, and went to unload my bags in my room, I heard some suspicious noises.

Dropping my bags on my bed, I ran into the lounge, and saw four of the five semi-responsible men running around in their suits. Bruce didn't want to suit up, so they had found him a green shirt and purple pants, demanding that he pretend to be angry, but to not pretend so well that his friend would come to crash the party.

"Pew, pew, pew. You're dead!"

"No I'm not. My bullet deflecting sheild bounced them off of me."

"Nuhuh."

"Hulk smash!" Bruce said, weakly, and then slamming his fists gently onto a table.

"A battle! I must end this!" Thor exclaimed, raising Mjolnir. A chorus powered by the need to stay alive echoed. Their cry seemed very well practiced.

"No! Thor, put down Mjolnir!"

I fumbled around in my pocket for my phone, and stood in the doorway, taping them running around like children.

"Steve, I shot you with an arrow!" Clint declared from his nest on top of the bookshelf. Steve looked more than willing to lie down on the couch, pretending to be dead.

"Oh no, Rogers died! We will get you, Barton, if it's the last thing we do!" Tony pledged. Just then, I caught Clint's eye.

"Party crasher, everyone hide! She's got a camera!" The entire room went silent in a panic, and everyone got down on the floor. This included Steve, who was trying to avoid getting caught in the video.

"I was just going to ask what was going on, but now I see. You all are playing dress up! I should have picked up some princess dresses for you all." For a moment, I considered joining them, because it looked like fun. But I had a load of laundry to do, a dishwasher to load because no one else in the entire tower would, and I should think about filling out the stack of paperwork that agents always dumped at my desk.

"Lady Widow, will you join us?" Thor asked, adjusting his helmet.

"Sorry boys, I can't. I've got stuff to do. Just promise me you don't harm each other, and that your blaster is off, Stark."


	11. Fortress

**I'm too lazy to think of a quote, so how about I tell you a bit about our fortresses we used to make, me and my four siblings. We usually stripped all the beds, took all the towels and pillows we could get our hands on, and we'd always try to have lots is space. There were even some instances in which we used brooms and other hard objects to gain hight or width. We have a big house, and so we'd also use the stairs, and the living room, and the room with the piano a lot. We never used the kitchen. (Who am I kidding? We still make forts!)**

* * *

It had been one of those days where the world seemed to be ending. We'd be deployed to some place, told to kill or capture someome, and only have enough time at home to go bathroom before we left again. Sometimes not even that. My entire day had been spent battling dull henchmen, and wearing short skirts. Tony hadn't been called on though, but in my opinion he had it worse; official meetings and press confrences to follow up converting the tower to green energy.

I flipped through a really outdated magazine on the way home, while the medics searched my body for wounds. They must have really wanted to do something too, because if I had been in their posistion I'd be bored too. Not one of us Avengers got a single scrape, just a couple of bruises, or aches. All that practice and days spent training was worth it.

"Someone pass me my phone." I asked, bored. They had sent me out to the amazon, and I knew I wouldn't be returning for a while. One of the rookies I had been sent out with passed me my phone. I dialed his number.

"Hello?" There was a loud thud, and Tony yelled that he was home.

"You don't look at your caller ID, do you."

"Glad to hear you're alive." Tony started yelling about something else, and I could hear Clint moving around.

"Why is Tony yelling?" I sighed, flipping another page in the magazine I picked up out of the basket on the floor.

"He's upset I took the sheets out of his room to make my blanket fort. Oh yeah, today I made a blanket fort."

"Glad to hear you did something productive today. So you only got one mission?" The next magazine was full of old news, so I got to read an old article some wanna-be writer had managed to get published about the Avengers and the attack on New York. But it wasn't about the lives lost, or the toll on the city. It was about our uniforms, speculating about what it's made and ways to dress like your favourite superhero that was seen. They had left out Clint and myself, which surprised me.

"Yeah, only one mission, but in my defense it took a while to get there and to get back. I was sent out to Japan." He yelled something back, but lovingly pressed his hand against the reciever so I couldn't hear it as loudly.

"Well, they sent me out into the Amazon. I won't be getting back until very early tomorrow morning, because the pilot is in no hurry to get home." He had hung up on me after I heard a loud thud and tony yelling about something, so I turned off my phone. Clint ought to have had a good reason to hang up on me, so I kept reading my outdated magazines, and annoying the newbies.

Eventually I got so tired of the pilot flying me home that I knocked him out and took over. Fury would be mad as heck when I get home, but at least I'd get home. I didn't do anything cruel or unnatural to the pilot, other than tell the agents where the collection of permanent markers was. Soon enough, their odour was in the air.

The tower was lit up like it was Christmas, and sure enough everyone was awake. With no idea of what they could have possibly done to the inside of the tower, I went to my room. If I had been my normal, alert, self, I would have noticed that the hallways were dark. Flicking on the lights in my room, I also would have noticed my bed was missing it's sheets, but all I wanted to do was shower. Once I had gotten out though, I found there were no towels. Groaning, I dried my hair with a t-shirt, and put on my undergarments. Sure enough, if I played the half nudity card, Steve would give me a towel.

Walking into the living room, I surveyed the area. The room was split in half, the middle empty, so I assumed it was the war ground. Popping my head into the main entrance of one of the forts, I found Clint and Steve huddled closely together, with a notebook of plans between them. When Steve saw me, he blushed, but Clint was used to my partial nudity.

"I just got home not twenty minutes ago, and you people have stolen my towels. Can I please have one back?" Clint looked at Steve, then crawled away into one of the other rooms.

"We don't have any of your towels. Tony took them. We wish we knew where he hid them, but it's pretty risky out there. He has one more person than us, and more than just one fort." Steve climbed into another room. This was getting irritating.

Instead of getting heckled by Tony about wandering around the tower in my undergarments, I stole a towel from one of the forts, and a blanket. Curling up on my bed, which was also missing the fitted sheet, I fell asleep.


	12. Revenge

**"Too bad you're a lousy shot, cucumber head." -Hawkeye, EMH**

* * *

Supper was always a fun time to be with the 'family' that we had developed. Bruce and Steve would do the cooking, teaching me tricks along the way. Tonight they graduated me from Grilled Cheese sandwhiches to spagetti noodles, so I had gotten to make supper all by myself. I didn't usually have to worry about making food while I was on a mission, because most of the men I was sent out to kill had servants who made the meals. But it felt nice to pretend to be a normal person for once.

"Tony, elbows off the table!" I shouted after catching a glance at the dining room. The noodles and the meatballs were done, and I set them on the table. Steve said the prayer, and we dug in. Tony and Clint stared at each other the entire time. Steve and I were the first ones done, and so we got started on the dishes and clean up.

"Remember when I said that I'd get you back for that time at the water park, with the evil alien who you managed to convince that I was in love with her?" Clint asked him. For a moment I was puzzled, but that was because I didn't know that there had been an alien mission lately. What happened next, I didn't know. I did notice that it was much quieter in the dining room, so Bruce and Thor must have finished eating. Steve went to go get thier dishes, and to pick up their placemats.

Dumping the dishes in the sink, and the placemats in the laundry pile, he went to the fridge, took out an apple and a beer, and stomped down the hallway. Before he turned out of sight, Steve took an obnoxiously loud bite of his apple before yelling at me to go deal with the kids. Oh dear. I set down the plate I had been drying, and picked up a large knife, impractical for throwing but good for threatening.

The dining room that Steve had worked so hard on cleaning after the last incident looked like a warzone. Various bits of the meal were stuck on the walls, on the floor, in the light fixtures, and on the culprits. Tony flung one last meatball, covered in sauce, at Clint. He had missed, and hit the wall behind Clint.

"Stark and Barton, what do you two think you're doing?" I asked, striking fear into their hearts.

"I-I-I was getting payback." Clint stuttered, cowering into his seat. Tony had tried to sneak off.

"I see you back there, Stark. I want you two to go shower, then come back and clean this room until it is as clean as Steve had it." I went back to the kitchen to finish up on dishes. Not ten minutes later, Tony had come back to the dining room, clutching a box of garbage bags and gloves. When Clint came back, Tony had gotten out the sponges. An hour later, the room was clean. They must have thought that I wasn't in the kitchen, because the entire time, Tony and Clint sang along to the trashy pop they had agreed on. I knew that Clint was a good singer, if you turned the music up loud enough. Tony on the other hand, must have been trying to sing the noodles to death. I wished that I had recorded Tony sining 'Call Me Maybe'.


	13. Splash

**Just would like to point out that I have an apology on my profile for not uploading yesterady until late. But in my travel home, I wrote a new chapter or two, and checked all of them. Right now the number of chapters is 22, or something around that. **

**But there are a few that are eight hundred or more words. I was having issues keeping them short.**

* * *

It was a group mission, and supposedly we were going up against a great evil. That's why we were standing in front of one of the local swimming pools, clutching towels and plastic bags. Fury had said we weren't allowed to bring any weapons, and to pretend to be normal. Instead, we sounded like the beginning to a bad joke; A redhead, millionaire, scientist, 90 something year old, the world's best archer, and a thunder God walked into a rec centre.

After paying, and reprimanding Tony for flirting with the poor, confused college girl who was working at the counter, we got to the changing rooms. I padded my way into the women's change room, and noticed that the floor was damp everywhere. Before I left, I put the weapons I had on me in the locker. For a moment I was glad that the changing room was empty, because if it wasn't I'd have a harder time doing so.

But the rest of the pool wasn't as empty. Children were screaming as their parents chatted on the sidelines, occasionally being told to watch as their child jumped off the ledge. There was a life guard standing on either side of the pool, and one sitting high above everyone else. The boys took longer than me it felt, but it might have just been because I was standing awkwardly by the entrance to the change rooms.

"Before you ask, no Clint, we cannot install one of those in the living room for you." Tony asked, catching Clint eyeing the lifeguard's nest. Steve looked confused, taking in the pool. We might see it as people having a good time, but he saw it as public nudity and misbehavior.

I unwrapped myself, stuffing the towel in one of the cubbies, and then walked into the pool.

"What are you fools gawking at?" I asked, because they seemed mesmerized by something. It couldn't possibly be me, because I had gotten a less revealing swimming suit. This one looked like it would be able to stay together in a strong wind, compared to the last one. Thor walked down to the deep end and jumped in, creating a huge splash. What a way to stay inconspicuous. Bruce looked like he was bored, and Tony looked like he was going to cause trouble. Clint, after the spagetti war, had been sucking up to me, so he was following me around. Steve was trying to enjoy himself, and so he tried jumping off the diving board.

Wading down to the deeper waters, I submerged my head and swam around Clint. I jumped onto his back. Giggling, I covered his eyes. "Guess who!"

"Well, you're too light to be Tony or Thor, and I can hear Steve trying to make Bruce laugh." He glanced around quickly before swinging me around and lightly kissing me on the cheek. "Have I complimented you on your bikini body yet? Because you look stunning. I'm surprised they left you alone so long in the water." I punched him lightly on the arm, trying not to give anything away.

"You look particularly handsome as well."

A bit later, as most of the smaller children had left, we decided to have a 'splash' contest, as Tony put it. We'd each jump, and Bruce would judge who had the biggest splash. I noticed that all of the others were also well toned, but not as appealing to me as Clint.

Tony, Thor, and Steve all had jumped, creating really big splashes from the side. Bruce was the judge though, and he looked rather bored. It was so weird to be watching him, without his glasses and his notepad. Clint jumped, and I laughed. He had insisted that Bruce and I both had his eyes on him.

"Tashy, Tashy Tashy! Watch this!" He said, flinging himself off the board. "Ouch." Clint moaned, swimming to Bruce, as he landed on his stomach.

Finally, it was my turn. I stepped up onto the board, and took a running start. Jumping into the air, I curled into a ball and landed in the water with a splash. Adjusting my swimming suit before I surfaced, I was glad that I got one that wouldn't fall off.

"You pack a mighty splash for one so small." Thor said, pushing the hair out of his face. I laughed.

Eventually it was closing time, and I went and changed back. We met at the shawarma joint, and Clint kept his hands to himself. Talking about everything from Batman movies to nuclear reactors, we stayed until closing. Finally, we made it home, and forgot completely why we went out in the first place. To make up for failing our mission, I drank an entire bottle of vodka and spent the rest of the night running around the house, doing ridiculous things.


	14. Mud Monsters

**I feel that this chapter is lacking something. But who knows, because I've sandwiched it between two of my favourite chapters to write. All I can tell you is that this next chapter is called 'Story Time'. **

**Also, would you or anyone else you know be interested in reading an Avengers fic about Maria Hill? (Just wondering...because a plot zombie invaded the iPad while I was driving and I got sidetracked...well...oops.)**

* * *

Pepper was teaching me to knit today, which she had insisted I learn even if I would probably never do it again. Tying the loop on the end of the yarn, Pepper showed me how to get it started. Casting on was difficult, because if I pulled the string too tight it would be a pain, but it it was too loose the loops would fall off. When I knit my first row, I also found it quite tightly knit together. Once I got used to the knitting motion, I found it easy to do.

"What's the deal between you and Clint?" Pepper asked, either on a mission from Tony, or just trying to be polite.

"Pepper, you may be my friend, but that's none of your concern.'' She looked as if I had beaten her. Before she could pester me anymore, Clint and Thor came back from their morning run, both dripping with mud.

Pepper jumped out of her seat and screamed.

"Get out, get out! Not on my clean floors!" I set down my knitting, and demanded for them to take off their muddy clothing. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Pepper silently checking them out. I hadn't said anything about Clint and I, and I wanted to keep it that way, so I ignored her. Taking their dirty laundry, I threw it down the chute, so that whoever's turn it was to do the laundry had it. Pepper went into the lab, just a bit shaken. I never thought that I'd have to pretend to be a mother, and I never thought I'd have to deal with a God in his underwear.

I had banished both of the boys to their bedrooms, and ordered them to take showers, when Clint came running up to me, wearing nothing but a towel.

"Tashy, can you run a bath for me?" I sighed, wondering what I had seen in this fool other than the most amazing, perfect, loving, caring guy ever. At least I had an argument about why we shouldn't have kids; Because Clint was one.

"Why do you need a bath? Just take a shower."

"Because I want a bubble bath!" Rolling my eyes, I gave in. Following him to his bathroom, I ran hot water and pured in the bubble soap.

"Do you need me to wash you too?" I regret asking that as soon as soon as it came out of my mouth. Clint smiled.

During the bath,he told me about the run in with the 'mud monster' supposedly. I still think that he saw a mud puddle and him and Thor destructed half the town while flinging the substance at each other like neanderthals. Draining the water on the bath, I threw a towel at Clint.

"You're cooking supper." I went back to the couch I was sitting on, turned on the tv, and continued knitting.


	15. Story Time

**I was going to use a different child's book for this one, but when we were in Saskatoon, all I had available was this one because my sister left her My Little Pony one in the van. I should think about writing more of these chapters...but I'm lazy. Maybe I'll finish it with 22 chapters, but who knows? **

**Also, Dr. Seuss and I are not related, so I've got no way to claim his work as my own?**

* * *

"I know you all have plans tonight, some more important than others, but I need you to cancel them all. We've got some raving lunatics throwing a world domination party in Budapest. Find the leader, and bring him in to me, but you can kill all the others." I glanced at Clint, worried but amused. He must have been thinking the same thing. "No strays, and your plane leaves in a hour." Fury hung up, leaving us six to our own devices before we caught our plane.

Eventually everyone was packed and we left for Budapest. Clint couldn't seem to control himself, and was smiling like an idiot the entire time. His smirk made me want to slap him.

"Birdman tone down your excitement." Tony said, turning a page of the magazine he was reading.

"Why, is it bothering you?"

"Yes, it is. But if you'd like to explain why you're so happy, feel free." Steve, trying to keep out of the conversation, had decided to polish his Thor tinkered with his hammer.

"I can't tell you though, because the mission is classified." I smiled, remembering what had happened.

"Quick, someone phone the receptionist of hell, and ask if it's frozen over. Charlotte is smiling!" Tony gasped in sarcastic shock, making me shoot him an icy gaze. Clint nudged me with his foot, and challenged me to a staring contest. When I won, Clint's face lit up with a smirk.

"Are you going to do what you did before Budapest the first time?" I looked at him, a bit confused, before I remembered what we had done.

"We can't do that here! Not in front of all these other people." Steve blushed, and Tony looked up from what he was pretending to read.

"Care to share whatever your ancient ritual is?"

"Nope." I said, possibly too quickly. Clint had taken out his phone, and soon passed it to me. I groaned as his smirk grew wider. "You're no better than a child, Clint."

"Everybody cuddle in, it's story time!" Clint shouted, and sat on the floor at my feet.

Sighing in defeat, I looked at the story he wanted me to read. The same one as last time. Instead of wondering why he had this story on his phone in the first place, I started reading it out loud.

"Please let me be. Please go away. I am NOT going to get up today!" I saw Tony lean in with interest. Bruce had stopped scribbling on his notepad, and Steve had put don the polishing rag. "The alarm can ring. The birds can peep. My bed is warm. My pillow's deep. Today's the day I'm going to sleep. I don't care if kids are getting up right now all over town I'm the kid who ISN'T getting up. I'm staying down."

I was tempted to slap Clint for the silly looks he was giving me. Tony sat down next to Clint, and looked just as excited.

"All around the world they're getting up. And that's okay with me. Let the kids get up in Switzerland...or Memphis, Tennessee. Let the kids get up in Alaska...and in China. I don't care. Let the kids get up in Italy. Let the kids get up in Spain. Let them get up in Massachusetts and Connecticut and Maine.

"Let the kids get up in London and in Paris and Berlin. Let them get up all they want to. But not me. I'm sleeping in. I've never been so sleepy since I can't remember when. You can take away my breakfast. Give my egg back to the hen. Nobody's going to get me up, no matter what he does. Today's my day for woozy-snoozy zizz-zizz ziz zazz zuzz." Out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw a phone out, surely trying to get blackmail. I'd crunch the camera later, but shot a hateful look at the agent. They put their phone in their pocket, embarrassed.

"Ten minutes until landing. I suggest you guys get your weapons ready, and suit up." Fury's voice rang, and I was sure he was sitting in his office throwing darts at a picture of whoever had brought him the wrong kind of donut.

"Pretty please finish the story Tashy." Tony whined, as he had already suited up. When I tried to kick Tony, I noticed Clint had also suited up, with his bow in his lap. I ducked into the bathroom and changed, though the only person who would have protested to me changing in my seat was Steve. Once in my uniform, I finished reading the story.

"Nothing's going to get me up. Why can't you understand! You'll only waste your money if you hire a big brass band. That's why I say, "Please go away! I am not going to get up today!" I guess he really means it. So you can have the egg." I reached the final page, and looked at the picture of the police man eating the egg.

"Good story telling there, Agent Romanoff. But now you need to go kill. Landing in two minutes." The pilot said as Tony smiled.

"So that was your warm up, a childish Dr. Seuss story."

"Yup." Clint replied.


	16. Pillows

**With my Cajun trail mix in hand I present you with Bubby, who is NOT a redneck. I'll also tell you abut about pillow fights in my house. Usually started by dad, everyone grabs a pillow and we hit each other. Usually no. 2 or 4 hurt someone, and then we stop. **

**Random question- have any of you seen the musical Wicked? **

* * *

I was sleeping in Clint's bed, because that is what married couples do, even if they are almost entirely secret. It had gotten to the point where I just wanted to spend time with him, and didn't care if anyone caught us. He had gotten me a pink stuffed badger to go with Babby, and I named it Bubby. Bubby was wrapped tightly in my arms, as were most of the blankets and pillows. I also was quite sure that the sheets were wrapped around my feet. Clint must have gotten up to take a shower, because if he hadn't he would have stolen back one of the pillows.

Deciding that they didn't need me at all today, I stayed in bed. Eventually I rolled over, and realized that someone had taken one of my pillows. Over some time, the sheets became untangled and the comforter had fallen on the floor. By the time I woke up, all I had was a pillow. Looking around the bed, I noticed that the only things that were missing were Bubby and the other pillow.

Swinging my legs over the side of the bed, I stood up and walked over to the bathroom. I rubbed my eyes before looking into the mirror, and realized that I looked like the creature from the blue lagoon. My hair was tangled, and my makeup was smudged beyond belief. Slipping into one of Clint's shirts, I padded into the kitchen. The windows were dark, so it must be night time. In fact, I thought I saw the moon. Could I have really slept that long?

Walking around the rest of the tower, I popped into the lab. Tony must have taken the night off, and Bruce might have finally decided he needed sleep. As I kept on, I stopped at the gym. It was empty, a stack of punching bags in the corner, a sign that Steve had been there. Finally, I wandered into the living room. Just as I predicted, Clint wasn't in his nest. Maybe Tony decided to do what he said he would, and take them all to a strip club, or to bingo. Who knows?

Giving up on the whole endeavor, I went back to Clint's room. I had thought I heard a whisper, but I thought that I heard whispers all the time. Outside of the door there was a pillow. Funny, I didn't think I had left a pillow outside the door. It was Clint's pillow as well, because it had the pink with the balloons on it, to match his blanket. Picking it up, I tucked it underneath my arm, and opened the door.

The lights were off. I didn't remember closing the door, or turning off the lights. Switching them on, it seemed eerie in the room. The blankets were untouched, but the other pillow was missing. Turning off the lights again, I flung Clint's shirt on the floor and fell asleep. I didn't think I could have been so sleepy.

"Sssssh, she's sleeping." I thought I heard something earlier.

"She's an assasin. She might not be asleep." I definately was hearing something. The shuffling of feet on the floor was making my brain alert, and it took all my effort to stay relaxed. So I pretended to wake up, and turned on a lamp. The orange light reflected off of five faces.

"Attack!" Someone yelled, and soon I was getting hit with pillows. Picking up my pillow, I started swinging back. I didn't care who it was, I just wanted to finish sleeping the day away. Soon it was me against my masked assailant, because I had knocked the others onto the floor. Pinning them to the floor and putting my foot on their chest, I tossed the pillow to the side. When I was sure they wouldn't get up again, I went and turned on the light.

"Katniss, that was the worst battle plan in the history of the planet." Tony moaned, clutching his side. I might have accidentally kicked him in the ribs and broke a couple. Bruce was sitting in a corner, breathing deeply with his eyes closed. Steve and Thor were looking a bit shocked. Glancing at the floor, I saw that Clint was the poor soul I had pinned to the ground.

"Before anyone leaves here, I would like an explanation." I demanded, pulling a knife out from behind the dresser next to the door. Clint sat up, and smiled.

"This morning Tony was wondering where we were, and barged on in here. He caught us, and then woke me up. You wouldn't get up. So as revenge for not telling them about us being married, he blackmailed the rest of us into joining him so that he could attack you. With pillows of course, because I had convinced him not to wear the suit." He said this all quite fast, and to everyone else it sounded like a mixed bag of words. To me, it sounded perfectly comprehendible.

"Well, the fight wasn't fair. I want Clint and Bruce on my team!" I yelled, before grabbing my pillow and going after Steve.


	17. Hockey

**This chapter is really long, and I apologize. There is just so much to put into a chapter about hockey. This is my second mention of the sport for my account, after my Wicked fanfic that was a guilty pleasure and a work of boredom. My siblings attend a hockey camp for a week in Saskatoon, so while they're out playing and swimming and doing stuff, I'm stuck in my Grandparent's house. Sure, I got to do fun things, like when I went to a comic book store and got a whole bunch of 1960's Cap comics. **

**I should shut up now so you can read this. **

* * *

It was a cold, snowy day in New York. The white snow was quickly reduced to brown slush that was pushed to the curbs of the busy roads. Clint was sitting in his room, where I had banished him after 'accidentally' lighting my bottle of hairspray on fire. Thor was amused though, which made everyone in the entire tower happy, except Tony. He, instead, was getting phone calls from the police and the fire department about a flare that had occurred on his roof. I sat on the couch, watching some reality show with clowns and six inch heels, knitting. It felt normal.

I checked Clint's baby monitor I had installed in his room. No doubt that if I lost this little screen, Tony would broadcast it to the entire tower, so I always kept it close. He was missing from his room, and that made me worry. But where could he have gone? I had told everyone else to keep their eyes open for him, and to tell me if they saw him. Knowing that Clint was also a a super spy, and could be quite sneaky, I got up and stalked my prey.

He went to Tony's lab. I knew that Tony wouldn't listen to me anyways, and Bruce had taken to hiding somewhere, so he wasn't in the lab. Jogging lightly and silently to the lab, I poked my head in the door. Sure enough, Clint and Tony were sitting there.

"How nice of you to join us, Peter Parker. We were just thinking that today we should go and play hockey!" Tony said, excited. So excited that he waved his arms, and knocked a glowing blue liquid onto the floor. "I will clean that up." He yelled, wandering to the back where he kept his towels as the liquid started smoking.

An hour later, all six avengers were standing outside of an arena, scared and confused. Tony had gotten Fury to force them, and he had said that it was a great bonding activity, since some of us were lying to them. Sure, hiding the fact that Clint and I were married from almost everyone was pretty big, but he didn't have to freak out about it. In fact, we should be getting praised for being able to keep it a secret so long.

Renting skates for everyone, the first priority was to get everyone to skate. It was easy, for the most part, since we all were quick learners. A great example was how quickly Steve figured out how to use the microwave. Thor was soon flying across the ice, trying not to crash into the boards and break them. One end of the arena had been fenced off, and a bunch of boys with plastic sticks were playing hockey already. We joined them, and the referee split us up equally. Bruce, Steve and I on one side, Tony, Thor and Clint on the other side.

We were going to go on as soon as someone scored a goal. Sure enough, a goal was scored, and I was put in forward. It wasn't weird to me how I was the only girl in the game, but it was weird to see their reactions. Have the average teenage boys never seen a woman in their life, other than their mothers?

I was passed the puck by one of the other boys on the team, who I think was named Mark. Quickly, I made it down the ice, and shot the puck at the goalie. It just barely went in, because it bounced off the bar. Clint had also been incredibly close, attempting to stop my progress. I guess he was my check.

Soon, I was sitting on the bleachers. Steve and Bruce were talking with each other and another kid on one of the other lines. As I was minding my own business, that Mark kid scooted next to me. He was acting nervous.

"I didn't catch your name." He said.

"Natasha." Mark started fidgeting with his hands.

"Did you grow up here? I feel like I've seen you somewhere."

"No. I'm from Russia. There are a lot of people with red hair, so you might be confusing me with that new, famous redhead of the week." I smiled, trying not to be threatening, though I was afraid I was.

"I've got it! You remind me of that lady in black with the guns, back a while when there were aliens attacking New York!" Saving me from the most awkward conversation, we were called onto the ice. I passed to Steve, but we were off the ice quickly, because Clint managed to score on us. He glared at me through the glass that separated our team boxes.

"I don't know who you're talking about. I was out of town when the aliens attacked, busy my Great Aunt's llama farm had caught on fire, and she needed help rebuilding it." Mark nodded. We lost the game, but not by much.

Soon it was closing time, and we all went back into the lobby to take off our skates. Clint sat next to me, and we chattered back and forth, though it was mostly him telling me about the vintage Captain America comic he had read. It had gotten to the point where he was shouting about a nazi robot, and walking around like a stereotypical mummy. Taking both sets of skates, I went to return them.

"I was wondering if you'd like to go get milkshakes with me and my friends." I turned around, and Mark was standing there. Clint's head popped up in the background, and he stopped shouting 'Exterminate' and walking around with one hand in the air. He started his way slowly over to where I was, assuming something was up.

"I'm busy tonight. Promised my friends that I'd make them supper again." Clint stood beside me now, wrapping his arm around my waist.

"What's for supper then?" He said, kissing my cheek. Mark shifted awkwardly. Just to make sure he got the point, I giggled.


	18. Romantic

**"I don't want to get married, I want to stay single and let my hair flow in the wind as I ride through the Glen, firing arrows into the sunset." -Brave**

**(Y'all are thinking that is the most amazing quote for Clint, right?)**

* * *

Clint had always been the romantic one of us, the one who thought that we should have picnics in the park, and long walks under the moonlight. So it surprised me when he told Steve that he didn't want to renew our vows. I personally didn't care, but I really did think that he was going to insist that we did it.

This had been brought up, because Tony and Pepper were planning their wedding. He had finally got the guts to propose to her, and Bruce got $100 dollars richer. Steve was somewhat excited, just wanting to be able to help restore the normal wedding. Tony wanted a huge wedding, with all the people under SHIELD, both sides of their families, and a mariachi band. Pepper was okay with both sides of the family, but wasn't to keen on the other two.

Then Pepper asked me what my wedding was like with Clint. She was dissapointed when I told her that it was in a little village in the middle of no where, where you professed your love in front of the village leader, and they'd proclaim you're married. She asked if we had dressed up nicely, and was even more dissapointed that we had gone in right after exterminating our target, and were covered in mud, and blood.

"Why, you need to renew your vows then! Tony, get over here!" When he did, Pepper filled him in on my wedding, and soon they weren't bickering over their wedding; they were bickering over mine.

"You realize that you can't have a wedding without a groom." Tony ignored me, and brought out his phone. He sent Clint a message, telling him to report to his lab. Minutes later, Clint showed up, his hair still wet from his shower, or so I hoped.

"You called?" I sat on one of the high stools, and put one elbow on the counter. This could get interesting.

"So, Pepper and I were planning our wedding, and then your little spider came and sat down beside us, but she didn't frighten anyone away, thank God. We found out that you had a little wedding, and didn't do anything extravagant. I don't know about you, but I think we need to fix this."

"I don't think that's necessary." Clint said, picking up a styrofoam cup that was on the table. It looked clean.

"Clint, we use that for urine samples." He dropped it faster than when Steve realized he had grabbed my gun by accident. Clint left the room then, in a mad search for some soap, disenfectant, anything that would ensure his hands stayed clean. I followed him with the bottle of hand sanitizer that Pepper handed me.

"I thought you would have been all for Tony's idea. You have always been the romantic one." I said, squeezing a few drops into his hands.

"I was going to be all for it, but didn't know if you wanted to go through with it. I'm a considerate romantic." I looked at him. "I also didn't want you to kill me if I agreed to it without your consent." That made more sense.

"Well then you need to go tell Tony that you agree, because right now he's probably thinking of the weirdest ceremony to be achieved by man."

"Can I tell him that we want it My Little Pony themed?" He asked, looking excited again. There was the Clint that I loved.

"If you feel you must." I hugged him before he ran off to the lab.


	19. Karaoke

**Just realized I've got a very strange obsession with a certain song that has plauged my innocent, Broadway infiltrated mind. This may need to get checked out. **

* * *

It was an average day, working out all morning, and doing some yoga in the afternoon in order to relax a bit. Bruce had lead the yoga, and even though he denies it, I'm sure that is what he did to keep calm in India. After we finished yoga, we would always go and spend the rest of the day doing what we pleased. Usually Clint and I would go color, or play a video game together in the gaming room. Bruce and Tony would go back to the lab, Steve would sit somewhere and draw, and Thor would snoop around the building.

We were getting very into our video game, screaming obscenities at each other and threatening silly things. I was winning, but Clint was close to beating me. We had gotten a copy of the Avengers video game that came out, SHIELD claiming that it was to get money to repair the helicarrier. Naturally, we chose our own characters. When we had first played it, I was a bit offended that they made me bustier, but soon got over it. Besides, it is a video game, and they needed to market it.

"Out of the entire library of games, you play this game?" Tony asked, walking into the dark room. He had two beers in his hand, and threw one to Clint.

"Well, it is kind of fun to play. I especially like how my muscles are more angular in this game." Clint said. "In fact, they got your facial hair wrong."

"That's why I don't play this game. Speaking of games, I have decided that tonight, we are going to have a 'Games Night' of sorts. So when you're done playing this," Tony gestured to the screen, where the paused screen had us all standing in the corner, and on the other side was a collection of bad guys,"plug in the microphones." He took a drink of his beer, and left.

Once supper was cleaned up, we all went down to the game room. Most of us didn't want to do this. Clint was on his second beer, which hardly ever happened, and in my clutches was a bottle. Steve had grabbed a beer, as well as Bruce. It was our liquid courage. Thor, who could drink us all under a table, was lugging a 24 pack.

When we walked into the room, Tony already had the game we were playing loaded onto the screen. Karaoke. Everyone tried to make an escape, but Tony wouldn't let us.

"I've got blackmail on all of you. Now you will participate in this game, or the blackmail goes to Fury. You will stay in the room, or the blackmail goes to Fury. I'll even go first." Tony said, a microphone in hand. He paged through the song choices, trying to decide on one.

"I don't know any of these songs. Plus I have a feeling most of them have rap in them, and I hate that kind of music." Steve said, looking at the song choices.

"I don't think the other guy will take too kindly to having to sing." Banner said, using the same excuse he always used. I took a swig of my drink.

"Singing doesn't cause stress. 'Sides, you could be the next big thing if you sing!" I shouted, then laid upside down on the couch. Clint tried to tickle my feet, but even being the tiniest bit drunk I kicked him. Tony dragged him up to the screen, put a mike in his hand, and told him to sing. I have never laughed harder, listening to him sing that song about a girl who wants someone to call her, maybe.

Eventually everyone had sang, in various stages or dress or mental ability. Soon they were doing second and third songs, as it got later and later in the night. Steve discovered a few pop songs he could actually stand, and I learned that what I thought classified as trashy pop was actually quite old. Maybe two years at the most. But we all learned that Clint listens to country music.


	20. Miscommunication

**This chapter is based off how I'm never sure if 4 is saying Hawkeye or something else. Originally I had written a great big chapter with an action sequence, but that didn't work out for anyone. I can't really write action very well. Also, updates may slow down eventually. To learn more, just go read my profile. **

* * *

"Pick me up, right now! I'm in pain, Hawkeye."

"I'm coming I'm- Did you just call me hot guy?"

I had gotten caught in a firefirght, and Clint was my ride home. While he had been banished to the jet, I was set on a mission to collect intelligence. It was all going very well until my cover was blown by one of the target's thugs. When he and his friend got together, I knew I would've been a goner if it weren't for Clint and his jet, flying circles around me.

"Sure. Whatever helps you sleep at night. Just come and pick me up!" As I yelled that, I narrowly missed a bullet. He told me that he was landing in a lot two blocks away, and that he was going to suit up if I didn't show in five minutes. My quickest route was down the sidewalks, but first I needed to lose the henchmen.

Throwing something that Tony had promise would go 'boom' behind me, I ran. The locals didn't seem to be phased by this, and kept on with their daily business. I ran down to the lot occasionally checking to see if someone was after me. When I made it to the jet, Clint had just finished getting ready.

"You look like death, Nat. Go clean yourself up, I'll fly home." When I had washed the blood and dirt off of my face and arms, and put bandages on any major cuts and scrapes, I went and sat beside Clint.

"You called me Hot guy." He said in a taunting voice.

"Like I said, you tell yourself whatever you need to if it helps you sleep at night."

"You're just denying what you said. Wait until I tell Tony! He'll be so jealous that I could only minorly change my name and it would sound like a compliment."

"I called you Hawkeye, but with all the gunfire and explosions, it must have sounded like hot guy. I did not call you hot guy."

"You just did." I was getting irritated.

"No, I didn't." He smiled. "Just shut up."

"I didn't say anything."

"You were thinking it." I poked around on my phone, checking my email. I had thirty seven texts from Tony to sift through as well.

"So you're a mind reader now? Like that one pale and sparkly guy from that one movie we watched?"

"No." Tony had probably consumed alcohol before sending all those texts, because most of them made no sense. I lightly slapped him on the face.

"Spousal abuse! Spousal abuse!" Clint yelled to the empty plane.

"It's not abuse. It's discipline, which is totally different. Also, with no witnesses it's going to be pretty hard to press charges. Not that you'd do that to me." I said, batting my eyelashes.

''I still believe that you called me hot guy instead of Hawkeye."


	21. Chips

**I wrote this on the way back from Saskatoon, and my silblings had gotten ahold of some of those darn ketchup chips. So I decided to write something with Canadian stereotypes. This isn't meant to put anyone down or stuff like that, because I am Canadian and I wrote it. Also, I just have to mention that Steve's hair- oh his hair! I've been tempted to make my brothers grow it out so that we could do the same to their hair. **

* * *

I was lounging at home on the couch, half asleep and reading a book. Well, it looked like I was reading a book, but in truth I was just staring at the pages, because my vision had gotten blurry. Clint, Bruce, Tony, and Thor all went on a mission to Canada. Steve, being Captain America, had opted to stay home because he wasn't sure if he'd be respected and treated like a normal person. I wasn't asked to go, and I had no problem with that.

"Want to watch a movie?" I asked when Steve came into the room.

"Depends on the show." He had on a pair of sweatpants and another white shirt. Sometimes I wonder how many white shirts he owned, or if it was the same one. Looking down, I noticed I was wearing the same thing.

"Hey look- we match!" I laughed, before getting up and looking through all the movies.

Soon we decided on some animated movie about Robots, and were sitting on the floor playing cards. I didn't have very much time to learn new card games, so we played 'Go Fish'. Steve is a nice guy, who doesn't deserve all the harassment from Tony and Clint. I noticed how nice his hair was, and before I could stop myself, I reached out and touched it.

"You must be used to people touching your hair."

"Not really, but I understand the appeal. I work hard to keep it so luscious." We both laughed.

Thirteen game rounds later, the others got home. Tony had a plastic bag in his hand. The only thing that they had on themselves was dirt, so I guess they had to deal with the weak Canadian violence.

"The people there are so friendly. I heard that one time, someone broke into someone else's house and left fifty dollars to compensate for the broken door." Clint said, though he seemed disappointed that he was probably only brought to fly the jet.

"And we brought treats for you two slackers!" Tony said, throwing two bags of ketchup chips at Steve and I.

"I still can't believe that they really do say 'eh' and 'aboot'." Bruce mumbled, sitting on the couch.

"Hey Thor, can you pass me a Coffee Crisp?" Tony asked, and Thor threw the entire box at him. "Thanks!" He said weakly after the force rom the box knocked him on the ground.

I cautiously opened the chips, and the first thing I noticed was the smell. It was a horrible smell, and Steve though the same. We made a deal to try the chips at the same time, and each of us grabbed a chip. It smelled even worse up close. We took a bite at the same time, and they tasted dreadful. Clint caught the horrible face I made, as I chewed the chip.

"Oh, I thought you wouldn't like them. I'll take those." He said, stealing the bag. I had no problem with it, but I knew he'd eat them.

I went to sleep in my own bed, and when I woke up, Clint was across from me. He was asleep like a baby, clutching Babby. His breath stunk like those vile chips. Trying to get him out of my bed, I stole all the blankets, but when that didn't get him to move, I thought of another plan. There was no reason for me to leave my bed, so he was the one who needed to go. Getting up, I grabbed him by the foot and dragged him off the bed, down the hall, and into the kitchen. Going back to my room, I slept peacefully and without disruption.


	22. Broadway

1) An internet cookie will be give to the person who can name all the musicals listed here. I worked so hard not to spoil the endings or anything, but in that one musical you know everyone is going to die.

2) I think that this story will have 35 chapters. I wrote the 30th one the other night, I think, and I felt as if it was repetitve. What would y'all like to see as the finale chapter?

3) 73 reviews! I love y'all an awful lot.

* * *

"Nat, can I be in a musical? I think I'd like to be Fiyero, and be awesome at it. Or I could be that one cat from that musical with the cats, but I forgot his name. Well, whatever it was, he had a great big mane, and a sparkly belt, and does a lot of hip swivels. He's kind of awesome. Or maybe I could be in that one about the British nanny, and I could be the chimney sweep! But you know what roll would be really fun to play? I think playing Spiderman in that one musical that was written by that pop star would be fun. You get to swing around, and sing about stuff, and talk to spiders. Kind of what I do already!" I punched him in the arm for that remark, but he kept on babbling. The odd thing about his little rant though, was that it came out of the blue. We were both sitting at the kitchen table, and as I was reading the most important part of the newspaper, the comics, he started talking. It also didn't seem that he had any intentions of stopping any time soon.

"Another fun role to play would be the Phantom from that one musical about the opera house and the ghost. I'd get to be all sad, and then get to stalk some girl who sings, and then get death threats from her lover! That sounds like fun, doesn't it? Or maybe I could play the part of Roger in Rent! He's really cool, with his guitar and his plaid pants. I used to have a pair of plaid pants, but I put them in the wash once, and I've never seen them since. Another great role to play would totally have to be Elder something or other, who gets to go to Uganda! I've always wanted to pretend to belong to a religion."

"Shut up. Please." I said, rubbing my temples. I had gotten a few spontaneous speeches from him in the past, but usually about some sort of politics. He was so very conservative, and many things got him angry about the world. Never knowing what he was talking about, I'd always learn something new, and this case is the same. My charges never went to musicals to try and seduce me, they went to operas and ballets. Here I was though, getting a lecture about the rols in musicals that Clint would love to have. It was still annoying as all heck, but I was learning that he wanted to be a stalker who gets death threats. I could arrange that.

"No. I'm not done yet. There is also the role of Marius in Les Miserables, who is one of the four people who survive the musical. Maybe instead of Marius though, I'd want to play Enjolras. I hear that he has a bigger fan base, and I'd get pampered by dazzled little girls who drag their parents to this show. It isn't a happy show at all! I read the book, and trust me, I wasn't just crying because I didn't want a twenty page essay on the sewers of Paris. Little Gavroche dies! He was, like, my favourite character! Okay, I'm done now." Clint said, and had a scoop of his cereal.

"Why the sudden burst about musicals?" I asked, flipping the page to read the rest of the comics.

"Because I bought two tickets to see Wicked tonight. Plus, when I was a wee little Hawkeye in the Circus, I was planning to pursue musical theatre when I grew up. But then I was told I couldn't let my talent go to waste. Very recently though, I finally took a class, and the class had to go see a musical to understand what all the work would lead up to, and other stuff I didn't pay attention to. So we're going to see Wicked, and I really want you to come."

"You're the worlds greatest Marksman who colors, plays with dolls, watches My Little Pony religiously, sleeps with a badger, and you're majoring in musical theatre? I've heard things that make less sense. I'll go to Wicked with you." Clint grinned.

That night I discovered his seats were with most of his class, and that they didn't think he was married. The musical was amazing though, the singing, the sets, the acting, and oh, the costumes! Sure, there were some simple ones, but Madame Morrible's dress was so intricate. I had seen the Wizard of Oz too many times to count since Steve's discovery that it still exsists, and so I thought I knew what was going to happen. Oh, I was pleasently surprised. Glinda was Galinda, there was a Goat that spoke at their University, and that the writer had a sense of humor by putting lines in from the Wizard of Oz.

"You know, darling, I think we need to take Steve to this musical," I told Clint during the intermission. "He would love it to bits and pieces. Also, thank you."

Did I mention that the musical was amazing? If I didn't, it is well deserving of definition amazing.


	23. Baking

**To be very honest with y'all, I've never had to deal with a flour mess other than the time the bag decided that it didn't want to hold the flour any more. Also, the musicals mentioned (and some of the roles) are;**

**Fiyero in Wicked, Rum Tum Tugger in Cats, Bert in Mary Poppins, Spidey in Spiderman; Turn off the Dark, Erik in Phantom of the Opera, Roger in RENT, Elder Price/Cunningham in Book of Mormon, and finally Marius/Enjolras in Les Miserables. I've seen Wicked, Cats, Poppins, RENT, and I get to see Les Mis. **

* * *

It was quiet today in the tower, which probably meant that there would be trouble later. But for right now, I was okay with the quiet. Tony had been dragged with Pepper to a conference across the country for the weekend, and not due to return until late Sunday night. Steve had gone out to an art museum or something like that. Bruce was in his lab, and Thor had gone back to Asgard for a while. Which meant it was the perfect time for me to indulge myself with a crappy romance book. It was the stereotypical romance book, with some shirtless guy on the front.

Not once while reading the book and taking in the very weak plot, and simple characters, did I think to wonder what and where Clint was. He said that he was going to be busy today, so he could be at a matinee movie showing, planning the Olympics, or painting ceramic dwarves to put all over the house for all I knew. Flopping onto my back, I kept reading the book. The main character had fallen in love with the other main character, and now they were having a very romantic picnic in the country.

Hours passed, and I still wasn't the slightest worried. Steve had gotten home, and went to the gym for a while, to beat the padding out of the punching bags. Every once and a while I heard some noises in the kitchen, and assumed it was either Clint or Bruce. Sitting upside down on the couch, with my head pressed against the floor, I kept on reading.

When I finished the book, I put it in Clint's nest. I went to go check on Steve, who was working up a sweat. Clint's room was empty, and I knew Bruce was in the lab. Going to make sure Bruce was still alive and well, I noticed that the kitchen was looking a bit empty. There had been a bag of sugar that was on the counter for when everyone had coffee in the morning, and now it was missing. Surely I couldn't be seeing things again. The last time I had hallucinated was because of a shot I had gotten in the leg during a mission. I thought the sun was trying to kill me, and that the music needed to be turned down or I wouldn't taste my waffles.

The lab usually smelled like a science classroom mixed with a hospital. It was so very sterile in there when Tony wasn't home, with his sweat and grime. Inside of the lab, I found Clint and Bruce, both covered in egg and flour. Most of the lab happened to also be coated in flour, making everything seem whiter than it already was.

"What do you guys think you're doing?" I asked sternly, putting my hands on my hips. They both looked at their feet, and I hoped they were cowering.

"I wanted to bake you a cake for your birthday, and wanted it to be a surprise, so I asked Bruce to help me. He did all the hard work, and I pilfered ingredients from the kitchen." Clint had a light dusting of flour in his hair, and I was reminded of the time we got in a snowball fight during a mission.

"Anything to say about it, Bruce?"

"I was bored, and we both thought it would be a good idea." Shaking my head, I told them to start cleaning it up.

"Clint, honey, I thought you knew that my birthday was three months ago."

"Do you still want the cake to say 'Happy Birthday Nat!'?" I looked at Clint, slightly amused yet a bit upset with him trashing the lab.

"Sure."

Just moments after I got in my room, Tony had arrived earlier than expected. Pepper had gotten annoyed with him, I guessed. Nothing was more entertaining than his scream when he found the lab coated with flour.


	24. Youtube

**So...This is one of my favorite chapters. Don't let that be a bias though, because it's probably not that good. I do not own the parody of the song that appears in the chapter, but I do have a copy of it that I play for my siblings over and over and over again. Also, if this story makes it to 100 reviews, I'll forever be in all of ya'll's debt. I've never had a hundred reviews...**

* * *

"Hey ya'll, watch this! Quick, Shirley, hold my beer." Moments after that was said, there was an eruption of laughter from the boys. They were watching youtube videos on the tv again, and I had to make sure they didn't get any ideas. This video was of a guy lighting a wasp nest on fire, then kicking it into the swimming pool he had stolen from some small child. He was very redneck wearing camoflauge and plaid.

"I've got a video we should totally watch!" Clint shouted, and Tony passed him the tablet he was using to stream the videos. I knew what he was going to type. He had been singing the song all week. Played it on loop in his room while he slept. Wrote the lyric on sticky notes and put them all over the tower. I had been contemplating a therapist to get him to stop singing the song. No one else in the room seemed to know what he was doing though.

"I rang your Wayne Manor bell..." That one cop started sining to some guy with a mustache. Clint was jumping up and down in his seat, and singing along. I slammed my head into my hands. When the song and video were done, Thor and Tony were singing along as well. Bruce and Steve sat there, unsure what had happened. Pepper was in the kitchen preparing lunch, because I could hear her. Jumping off of my seat, I went to join her before things got really crazy.

By the time we had set the table, they had listened to the song fourteen times or more. Everyone knew the words, and was singing along. Tony had suggested to watch the song it was based off, so we had that to put with as well. Pepper was humming along eventually, and when I shot a glare her way, she told me it was a catchy song.

Everyone but me was humming that song, and Tony noticed how I was feeling grouchy because of it. So, when we were done eating, he got Jarvis to play it on the speaker system. Every so often he'd switch it up by putting the original song in. Eventually I went and sat on the roof, trying to calm down. That was, until Tony started playing it up there as well.

I wasn't about to succumb to this brain melting, yet very catchy song. Listening to it made me want to watch the Batman movies, dig out my old comics, and my life size bust of the dark knight. My t-shirt was hidden away, and I had been ordering old comics from the internet and picking them up across town. In fact, I had a well kept, very secret storage unit just outside of New York where all my stuff was kept.

This was all a great big secret though, because no one could know of it. I was supposed to be feared and respected. There wasn't a way that I've thought of that would let me keep my fellow Avengers from losing respect for me. Should the day come where my glare didn't make them wish for their mothers, I would have to quit my job. Because if they didn't fear me, no one would. So they couldn't know about my small Batman obsession.

Giving in, I went to my storage unit. The boys could do whatever they wanted, I just needed to get away before my obsession slipped through my fingers and into their much waiting hands. While I was driving out there, I found myself humming the tune. For the entire ride I was greatful that it was also a trashy pop song parody, so the tune was the same.

The cardboard boxes were still stacked along the perimeter, with a large sofa with the Batman logo on it in the middle. My cardboard cut outs were standing around it, and the bat lamp stood on the table I had custom made from someone on the internet. Once I had closed the doors, I slipped into my Batman shirt, and read comics. I got out some of the action figures, and acted out the Christopher Nolan movies.

Soon it was midnight, and I decided they needed be back at the tower. Changing back into the shirt I had been wearing, I drove back to the tower. The only thing that was left from my little retreat was the manicure I had given myself, with little bats on my fingernails. I couldn't bring myself to rub them off, or chip the paint. Surely, the boys wouldn't notice.


	25. Partial Nudity

**LET US PARTY ON! **

**Also, I recieved word that some people don't know what song I was alluding to last chapter. If you can, youtube 'Batman, Maybe' and listen to the song. It's a Call Me Maybe parody. **

* * *

There was a scream from the kitchen.

"What is that! Go- find your dearly beloved spiderwoman and get her to deal with your half dressed bum!" Tony yelled, and I could imagine him waving his arms around like a moron as Bruce sat at the table calmly with a cup of coffee and the paper, pretending nothing different was happening. I sighed, and rolled onto my side in my room. Clint was still playing 'Batman, Maybe' while he slept. I loved that song, but hated it at the same time.

"Tony, Spiderwoman is a real superhero. Don't you read comics?" I heard Steve ask. He had told me he only read those comics because they are so different now than when he was young. Being in SHIELD has gotten him many comic books, because they use them raise funds for projects.

Later that day, we had another group work out session. I finally understood why Tony was so upset with Clint. He had decided that today was the greatest day to walk around in nothing but his My Little Pony boxers. We had thought about holding an intervention for him, because this obsession of his had gotten out of hand. For a bit I thought I was a bit of a hypocrite, with a storage unit to hold all my Batman crap, but his ponies were all over the house. This needed to stop, but no one had the heart to do it.

I was convinced this was a way to get attention, and ignored it. This was old news to me. Everyone else was freaking out as if they had never seen what a man looked like. Maybe today was international run around half naked day. Whatever it was, I couldn't be bothered to ask.

Just before supper, when I reported that I had found Clint asleep on the staircase, Steve held a meeting without him. Basically, he wanted Clint to get dressed but wanted to avoid the awkward situation that would make if he had told him. Instead they forced me to talk to him. The entire time they were listing reasons why I should have to do the task, I was thinking of what Coulson had told me on my first day working at SHIELD. He had told me not to talk to the crazy naked guy. At first I had wondered why, but now I understood what he meant.

Thor and Steve had started making supper, by locating the phone and the take out menu, when I decided I needed to act. Out on the staircase, Clint was lying on his back, head going downhill. It looked incredibly uncomfortable.

"Honey, time to wake up." I said, in a sugary voice. Crouching down, I tapped his face repeatedly until he flinched.

"Hey Barton! Get your sorry carcass off the steps." I said a bit louder, stood up, and kicked him in the side. That got him to move.

"Hm-what?" He asked, I think. He seemed a bit dazed.

"Darling, you need to wear clothing. It's important. Because I don't like other people ogling you, and the other's are a bit weirded out."

"But I don't want to." Clint pouted, sitting up. Just as he did that, he slipped down the steps. The floor directly below us though was a busy one, where Pepper and her specially hired minions worked on important things. I'm sure Pepper had explained it to us at one point, but I probably didn't listen.

"Because if you don't wear clothing you embrass yourself with civilians." I said as people came pouring out of their offices to find out what the commotion was.

Thor had accidentally ordered the entire take out menu, and so we all ate as much as we could without feeling horrible about ourselves. Clint had gotten dressed, and now knew the importance of clothing. It was all happy, and we pretended to be a perfect family, instead of the mismatched set of socks we were.


	26. Garden

**Thank you for the 100 reviews! I feel like a very happy person, although I now feel really stupid over getting excited. But so you all know, to celebrate your loving reviews I tried to watch a movie, and stuff. I am posting this baby earlier than usual because I've got guiding today. So next time a Girl Scout/Guide asks you to buy cookies, think of me and this story, and buy a case. Especially if it is me asking you to buy cookies. Because I have to sell 1 case of each kind. Which is much more difficult that you think. **

**Odds are you will never actually have to buy cookies from me. What a shame. **

* * *

I loved it when I had the tower to myself. I could do anything I wanted without any fear of being judged by anyone but Jarvis. But he wouldn't betray me. Paging through all my emails on my phone, I laid on my side on my messy bed. Emails telling me about Batman comic book sales from the past, and a bunch of websites advertising various things that Tony probably signed me up for.

Soon I was bored of doing that and went out to the storage unit that I nicknamed the Bat cave. Flipping through old comics, I lost myself in the fantasy world of the dark knight. I would've loved to be able to redo my past, and not use guns, but it was too late I felt. Most of my opponents used guns though, or were vicious. SHIELD expected me to kill the bad guys quickly and quietly, with no witnesses. So I wasn't allowed to say no to guns.

When I went home again, it was a bit past noon. Parking my car next to Pepper's, I noticed that the keys to the small jet Clint borrowed were back on the hook. Excited that he was home, I went to his room to say hello. Finding he wasn't there, I went to the living room. Empty. I took the elevator to roof. In the minute it took to get there, I learned that Tony had figured out how to change the elevator music. The instrumental to 'Call Me Maybe' wasn't as good as the actual song.

"What are you doing?" I asked when I found Clint, without his shirt on, up to his elbows in dirt. There were big pots on the roof, and bags upon bags of dirt. Next to the dirt, there was a collection of plants.

"Planting a garden. I wanted to grow you some flowers." I smiled, his intentions were sweet.

"Would you like some help?" I asked, running a hand through my hair. At least Clint had goals and ambitions. Plus, a garden on the rooftop of the Stark Industries, which boasted about their green energy, was a great idea.

"Surely. Why don't you fill those buckets up with water for me?" He gestured to the three large, brightly colored buckets. Going over to the faucet that was used to wash the jets and fill up the water balloons for the annual SHIELD water fight.

When I finished that, he got me to fill up some of the large boxes that we were going to put dirt in. Most of them were wooden, and I had a feeling they were because Clint was going to have Steve paint them. But there were a few stone squares scattered on the roof, raised higher than the others. I had a feeling these were for the ornamental trees that were sitting the collection of plants.

Soon Clint and I were putting plants in the boxes, and having a blast. Smudging mud on each other's faces, throwing dirt. He claimed to have accidentally dump water on my shirt, but I knew better than that. Soon we had planted all the flowers, and moved onto the trees. I was in charge of pulling the roots apart to ensure that the trees would live. When we were finally finished, the rest of the Avengers were home.

"I would like to think we did an amazing job." I said, glancing around. There was so much color, and it was beautiful. He had gotten a variety of rose bushes to put in each box so that he had a rose for every occasion. "You're going to need to take care of it."

"I've already asked the groundskeeper to keep an eye out for it while I'm away." Clint said, looking over his work with a focused eye. Just as I was going to the elevator, he grabbed my arm and pulled me in. P Holding me close, he kissed me.

"Do you want to hear a secret?" Clint whispered in my ear, his arms around my waist. I nodded.

"Before I started any of this I planted genetically modified ivy beside the tower, and tomorrow morning the entire tower will be covered in it."


	27. Miracle Man

**This chapter is probably not to good, and in hindsight I should probably written it differently. But oh well. My thought going into this one was that he'd kind of me like my sister, who gives hugs all the time. (Unless I want one, then she doesn't.) It's been said (by mom) that she knows when someone needs a hug, and for the sake of it all, I will not comment on that. **

**But as of yesterday I have written 32 chapters. (At least) and have four or five more ideas before the end. The end is in sight, which makes me tear up at the thought. Sadly though, this fic cannot go on forever.**

* * *

Rain, rain, go away. I don't enjoy getting standing on a street corner in the rain, even if I do get to hold an umbrella. Clint had woken up on the weirdest side of the bed, and insisted on giving everyone in Stark Tower a hug. It had started with Bruce, who he claimed looked sad and tired. It was quite awkward to watch my husband hug another grown man, but it hadn't gotten him in trouble. Then he started hugging everyone.

When I say everyone, I mean the maids, the office men and women, the intern, the rest of the Avengers. When he tried to give Tony a hug was the most dangerous though. He had found Tony doing some modifications on his suit, a torch in hand. Clint had made him stop what he was doing so he could give Tony the pleasure of getting a hug. That's how I ended up standing in the rain, holding the umbrella for Clint, who was trying to give random New Yorkers hugs.

Some people were very enthused that they could get a free hug, but most were unchanged when he came up to them, giant smile on his face, asking for a hug. They kept on walking, head down and quickly to their next destination. I had wandered where they were going. Some of them had jobs, lives, or just the urge to go shopping.

Tony had decided that I was the only one who was mentally fit to babysit Clint again, because he is my husband. Praying to some God that the rain would let up, and I could go home, Clint kept on giving people hugs. I checked my phone for the time. Twenty minutes to go.

"Would you like a hug?" Clint asked, walking up to some random person with his arms wide open. The person he was approaching had a ragged toque on, and their hands shoved deep in their pockets. Their eyes were sagging, and wisps of hair stuck out from underneath their hat. Clint hugged them anyways, and that person stopped walking. Their sad face brightened a bit.

"Thank you." The person said quietly. I smiled secretly, from a distance.

I was complaining about standing in the rain with Clint, but he was making people happy again. I don't know anything about that person, what gender they might be, what things are like for them at home. But a hug had brightened their day, and Clint could have saved a life. He might have changed how they felt. I felt proud of my little man child.

Later that night I cuddled into his bed after stopping that darn song he always listened to while he slept. Babby was wrapped in his arms, and instead of trying to take Babby's place, I just watched him sleep until I drifted off. How had I managed to get myself a kind, loving, caring, wonderful man like him?


	28. Twister

**So...there might be a pause in updates if I don't start writing. I was writing a bit though, I promise! But then mom was watching a movie on the Siege of Ruby Ridge, which is close to where I live...and I was so interested! **

* * *

It was a wonderful day outside, the sun was shining, the New Yorkers were yelling at each other, and Thor hadn't broken the microwave yet. I was sitting on the kitchen table in my pajamas, a cup of coffee clenched in one hand, the other running through my hair, keeping it out of my face. My new goal was to grow it out again, but if it wasn't going to play fair, I was going to cut all of it off.

Tony and Bruce had buggered off into the lab for a day full of work, Tony upset that I said he couldn't take the coffee maker with him. Steve had popped in for a glass of apple juice, because he was trying to stop drinking coffee altogether. He claimed that it didn't do anything for him anymore. Once he was done, I guessed he was going up to the roof to work on painting the murals on the planter boxes. He was doing one for each Avenger, and the others would remain blank until he thought of something to put on them. Clint insisted that one of them have Ponies on it, and one with Daleks.

Thor was awake, just taking a really long time to get ready. At one point I thought I heard yelling from his room, but if he was in real trouble, he'd run out of his room. Clint had waken up this morning, and had come to get his coffee, because his mug was missing. Someone had made mugs of each of the Avengers, and for Christmas he had gotten each of us our own. We didn't always use them, but Clint used his all the time. He thought that it was a statement. I thought it meant his ego was way too big.

"Look what I found!" Clint yelled, running into the kitchen, expecting to see the others. He was holding the Twister board in his hands.

"Really, Clint?" He nodded enthusiastically. Telling him were the others were, he ran off and I washed my mug. In my room, I chose the clothing that was most likely to stay on correctly, not cause weird tans, and least likely to flash someone should I bed over. I knew I'd need it, because this was nothing I had ever trained for.

Clint had sent me a text telling me to get to the rooftop, becasue he had everyone together. Sighing in defeat, I made my way to the top. In the elevator I realized that the shorts I was wearing showed off one of my little scars on my leg, I really didn't want to do this, but if I didn't I'd never hear the end of it. They'd never leave me alone. So I would go through with their stupditiy.

"How do you play this 'Twister' game?" Thor asked, examining Mjolnir with his large hands. Steve was holding a paintbrush in one hand, paying attention to Clint's explanation.

"We're going to choose four people from this hat, and you have to listen to the instructions given. You put the body limb on the corresponding color, and whoever stays up the longest wins." Thor nodded and went back to running his hand across his hammer. Tony was smiling like an idiot. He had put all the names in the hat without supervison, no doubt, and so we were all in trouble.

"Let us begin the party!" Clint announced, and plunged his hand into the little hat he had. After he had drawn five names, the fifth to spin the spinner, I hoped I hadn't been picked. Only one of us wouldn't be picked, and I wanted that to be me.

"Steve, Bruce, Tony, and Nat are playing, and I'm spinning." Thor still sat on the ground, his back against a planter, examining the hammer. It might not be examining it though, he could just be playing with it, but I was too scared to ask. Thor had accidentally lost his cool and threw his hammer at a wall, and I was on the other side of the wall. I had narrowly missed getting my leg blown off, but when I fell onto the floor I got a bruise on my leg the size of a grapefruit.

Minutes passed. I had one arm underneath Tony's leg, and Steve was on top of me, for the most part. Bruce had fallen down, but the pressure had probably made his pulse spike, and he didn't want to ruin our plants. Then he went back to the lab, because he didn't want to let his friend come to our party. Tony was facing upwards, somehow, and was cracking jokes. I wanted to punch him, because most of them were hitting a little close to home. I didn't really want him to be making the wrong assumptions about my personal life, that he didn't know a lot about.

I had won the first round, because Tony 'accidentally' fell on top of Steve when he said something about me being turned on when Clint watched his kids show. No one could prove it was me. Round two was equally fun, but I only got to spin the spinner this time. Thor, Clint, Steve, and Tony were crammed onto the little board, and watching them try to stay up was quite funny. They were making alliances for helpers to keep eachother up, and to help them move their hands and feet.

The games ended though when there was a helicopter flying about, the news channel it was spying for written on the tail of it. That night on the news, we listened to their speculation on what we were doing.


	29. Toddlers & Tiaras

**This idea was concieved when I was doing something important, and my 2 had left the remote alone and was off somewhere doing something. Not wanting to do whatever my chore whas (I forgot) to sport highlights, I found the TLC channel to see if anything good was on. They had a marathon of this show, and although it's horrible and bad and whatever I find it entertaining because it makes me glad my mom is a crazy hockey mom, not crazy paegent mom. **

**(Also, I'd like to note my mom and I bonded over this showing, and now whenever one of us does something redneck we start talkin' like Honey Boo Boo and mention Darlene.)**

* * *

"I really wanted Isabella to win."

"I know, right?"

"That mother makes me sick. Just give the kid a bucket of mud and a shovel and let her do what she does best- be a kid!"

"Is this really what I missed while I was frozen?"

"You missed much worse. I hear tomorrow they're having a marathon for Jersey Shore. If you think this is bad, I suggest you see a few of those episodes. Italy hates America too. I'm going to the kitchen to grab a beer. Do you want one?"

"No thanks. Why is that pony purple?"

"The mother paid money to dye the pony for her kid." This chatter was annoying me. Tony had put me on supervison duty for my husband, who had found a tv marathon to watch. Instead of it being something awesome, or bearable, he wanted to watch a reality show that focuses on the cruel life of being a beauty pageant child. Naturally, he called it a learning experience and got Steve to join him. Thor would have too, but he was busy helping train new recruits. Fury had him to the physical training with a helper so that everyone knew what to do, and to keep Thor from ruining everything.

I had planted a camera in the living room before I left, because I didn't want to stick around to watch this vile representation of humanity at it's worst. After installing the camera, I left for the Batcave for a few hours, or at least until the marathon was done. When I got there, I turned on the baby monitor to get a peek at what he was doing. Clint was sitting in his nest, holding a beer in his hand. Steve was sitting on the couch looking disgusted.

"I think that this might just be a publicity stunt. Why else would someone let the judging be filmed?"

"Steve, this is reality tv."

"You do have a point there." There was a silence. I realized that my Batman shirt needed to be washed, so the next time it was my turn to do the laundry I'd have to sneak it in.

"Clint, what are you doing?" I heard Steve say, worried. I pressed the button that showed me the scene. Clint was sitting in his nest now, with a pink feather boa and a tiara.

"I'm pretty fabulous for a male archer who isn't at all as adorable as these little tykes. Did I tell you about the time Nat called me Hot Guy instead of Hawkeye?" I groaned and put my hand to my face.

Eventually the marathon came to an end, the final episodes having to do with someone named 'Honey Boo Boo', which made me ask myself if this was a reality show about little kids and their parents in pageants, or a contest between parents to see who can think of a better stripper name for their child. Stashing my shirt in my purse and putting all my action figures back into their box, I got ready to go home. Clint and Steve were just finishing up the last episode.

"I'm back!" I said, dramatically.

"Ssssh, not now. It's time for the crowning of the Grand Supreme."


	30. Laundry

**This chapter is not as good as I would have liked it to be. I'm also the bringer of bad news today. Last night I wrote chapter 35, which is one of the last ones. There might be 38 total if I go with both ideas and I like them. If you want to learn more about the final chapters, go to my profile and read the Aug. 27 update. But last night I cried while writing 35, but I'm not sure if it was because I was sad it's coming to an end or because I have nothing that resembles sanity. **

* * *

Clint has to keep his room clean if he wants me to come and cuddle with him, or play with his action figures together. For the most part, he does a very good job, but on laundry day his room is the equivalent of New York when we were done fighting the chitauri. He would wake up early and sort through all his clothing, and strip his bed. If there was one thing he actually enjoyed doing other than his line of work, it was laundry.

Usually by the time I was awake, he had told everyone in the tower to get their dirty clothing together, and to have their bed sheets in front of their door for pick up. If I slept any later than nine, he would come into my room, and jump on my bed until I either kicked him off, or woke up. Usually both would happen though.

Then I'd wander down to the laundry room clutching a cup of coffee that Clint would've made me, in the mug he had gotten me with my face on it. At first I thought that it was the ugliest mug ever, but in the morning when my vision is foggy and my hair is in my face, it looks alright.

That made today no exception. I had been woken up like I normally was, and threw all my dirty clothes in a pile. Clint had already started pulling the sheets off my bed for me, so I could go change into some real clothing. He was rambling on about something, probably about the flower garden, because one of the rosebushes had blossomed. At least he was awake, albeit way too early.

When he had left my room to get my cup of coffee, I remembered why I brought home my Batman shirt. I shoved it crudely underneath the top layer of clothing, trying to keep it hidden. When Clint returned with my coffee, we began to take the sheets and hampers down to the laundry room.

Tony, even though he claimed he didn't know how to do laundry, had installed an industrial sized washer and dryer, and it made things easier. But I think it was because Pepper made him. On laundry day it wasn't uncommon to hear her yelling at Tony to get a load of his dirty clothes ready.

The other three were much better about laundry day. Steve seemed to think it was one of the only things that was left somewhat alone through the years. Bruce usually was pretty good about having his laundry ready to go before he left to go play in the lab, or work on some puzzle in the paper. Thor, on the other hand, had a tendency to forget that it was indeed laundry day. But he was very fast to get all his stuff together.

"You would never have guessed who I saw at the grocery store the other day." Clint said, excitedly.

"Who?" I folded another white shirt, and by instinct put it on Steve's pile.

"Agent Hill! She probably didn't notice that I was there, but I followed her around the entire store." He began to ramble about what she bought. Only Clint would spy on the daily lives of agents. The washing machine beeped, and I went to go and switch loads. When I came back, Clint was holding up a black and yellow shirt.

"Whose shirt is this?" He asked, showing me the front. "It's either your's or Pepper's, and I'm not sure."

"I'm not sure. Put it on the back of the couch. I'll ask Pepper when she gets home." I continued to fold the laundry, sorting the clean clothing into piles. Clint turned on the tv and we watched some program on TLC, with wedding dresses. I was somewhat intrested, though my mind was busy thinking of ways to steal the shirt back. When the washer beeped again, I left to go switch loads.

"Nat, Pepper says the shirt isn't hers. So it has to be yours." Clint yelled.

"It isn't though!" I shouted back from the laundry room. Of the many places I'd be tonight, his room was not one of them.


	31. Brave

**Y'all might not know this, but I am not a big fan of the Hunger Games movie, but I tried to leave it unbias. Just not really. Want to hear a funny story? (It's probably not funny though.) 2,3 and I saw Hunger Games opening weekend, and dad had been a little slow about getting tickets and so we had row 2 in an imax theater. We were the closest to the screen, and in the fight scenes I almost died. I was so dizzy. Then I spent the rest of the day nitpicking it. 3 decided that she absolutely loved it. I didn't love it, but I'm also a lone Twihard, and any YA novel that becomes a movie seems to want to replace Twilight. **

* * *

"Nat," Clint whined as we sat on the couch with the other Avengers, "Can we go see that new movie about the archer?"

"The Hunger Games?" Clint shook his head. I noticed that Thor was playing with the lamp again. I hope that someone else noticed this.

"Do not mention that movie again. It causes things to happen. Bad things." Tony said, point his finger at me. That's when I recalled what had happened. I had a mission to leave on the next morning, and so I didn't go to the midnight showing. But I was awake when I saw Steve, Clint, and Tony walk out the door. Clint was almost done with the third book, and was going to finish it in the line up he knew was going to be outside. On his back was his quiver and bow. Tony had explained he was dressing up for the midnight screening. What ever. Kids do that all the time now.

Then when he got home there was trouble. I had just fallen asleep again when they stormed the tower. Even though they all found the movie good, Steve was getting debriefed on what he had just seen. Supposedly that movie wasn't watchable, and Steve spent most of the movie in a bathroom down the hall from their theater. Clint was nitpicking, and Tony had a cramp in his hand from signing everything from cleavage to phones.

"No, darling, I want to see Brave! You know, the scottish kid with the big hair?" Clint tried to mime it out, and looked pretty ridiculous pretending to have big hair.

"Aye, that movie does look good." Thor added but then left the room after his beeper went off.

"So you want to see a children's movie...about a crazy haired red head...who is good at archery?" I tried to make sense of this. Clint nodded enthusiastically. "Tony? Steve?" Bruce had left the room, probably hiding in the lab writing something down and muttering to himself. Lucky. He didn't have to go see this movie. I would though, and I doubted that it was any good. Though the concept was somewhat interesting.

"I've already booked the tickets." Tony said, turning off his phone and putting it on the side table beside him. I pulled at the ends of my sweater, realizing how cold it was inside the tower.

On the drive there, Clint basked in his victory. He knew that I prefered darker movies, with blood and action. So, in order to forget that I was going to see a children's movie, I started asking myself questions. Was I wearing socks? What shirt did I put on? Had I brushed my hair? I thought long and hard about what shirt I was wearing, and soon realized I had absentmindedly put on the Batman shirt. Hoping that the theatre was cold, I pulled on the hem of the sweater.

I didn't think that the theater would be so busy during a matinee showing during the week. Of course, I forgot to account that this theater was in a mall and in New York. It would be busy. Ads for movies decorated the large room where they try to lure you to spend more money by advertising delicious looking goods and other movies. Clint looked around excitedly, and I instictively held his hand. We couldn't lose him, because he was the one who wanted to see the darn movie.

Our showing of Brave was full of children. Well, children other than Clint the man child. Four year olds were running across the front row of seats, parents restraining other kids by making them sit down. For a moment I thought that one of the tots had been swinging on the ceiling fans it was so chaotic. When the lights dimmed I was happy though, because it fell silent.

Clint had sat beside me on one side, and Tony on the other. Steve was sitting beside Clint. I was impressed that Steve was able to handle the technology and development in movies. A few ads had passed, one with yellow creatures that looked like pills with hair, and another about a video game character who was upset with his life. My biggest surprise was the last ad they showed.

Generally, for children movies they wouldn't show a dark, adult movie trailer. They would show pictures of kittens before they did that, usually. So why did they play the Batman trailer? Because someone up on high was messing with me. Whoever it was, they really hate me I guess. Because I couldn't surpress the squeak that occured when they finished the trailer. Tony had heard it, and looked at me.

It was fun through the movie to count how many times Clint jumped. Sure it was a kid's flick, but he was just as excited and had about the same mentality as some of the kids we have in this theater. He reacted like the other kids, gasping in places, and covering his eyes. There had been a point where he buried his head in my shoulder. He could kill ruthelessly, and face great things that would frighten the average person, but an animated movie about an archer and her fate made him lose it.

When the movie finally ended I was so hot. Forgetting that I was wearing the shirt, I unzipped my sweater as we walked into the lobby. Now I noticed the giant cardboard set up that advertised that new Batman movie. Clint and Steve were chattering like monkeys about how pretty the movie was, and the story. I had a feeling that Clint was excited because he had found new practice techniques. Except for the small problem; I wasn't going to be getting him a horse, and if he were to buy one I'd get very upset with him. My opinion on the movie? I actually liked it.

"Hey, Natasha." Tony was walking beside me. Why was he walking beside me? "You finally came out of the closet about your Batman obsession!" He pointed at my shirt, then called me out on the fan girl squeak I had made when they showed the ad. In my weak defense, they had never in the history of children's movie shown an adult movie trailer before it.

"I knew that Batman shirt was yours!" Clint shouted, pointed his finger and started jumping excitedly. Tony tried to secretly slip a twenty to Steve.


	32. Aim

**I don't know if I should be ashamed of this chapter. I wrote it at two in the morning, when all the other chapters get written. Also, I just finished watching the Hunger Games. When she's in the tree why didn't they a) shoot arrows at her b) throw stuff at her c) light the tree on fire or d) climb up the tree while she was sleeping and kill her? I shouldn't be too picky though, I'm sure my story has so many plot holes it looks like swiss cheese. **

* * *

One of the perks of living in the Stark Tower was that each person got their own bathroom to do whatever they wanted to. That's why Clint's looked like a bird's nest. Thor's was almost always out of order, because the simple midgardian things confused him. I had to give it to him though, because Thor hadn't light the tower on fire yet. Bruce's was kind of clean, I guess, and Steve's was always pristine. Tony's scared everyone away, and mine was usually okay.

But we don't usually use each other's bathrooms. I only know about everyone else's bathrooms because someone had messed with mine. The sink was flooded, the toilet plugged, and my bathtub was filled with Nutella. The walls had lipstick drawings on it, and whoever had done it used my good lipstick, and I was ready to kill them over it. Except I didn't know who did it. So I scavenged what I could from the disaster zone and went to Clint's bathroom.

His bathroom was probably worse than mine. Clint wasn't in his room, but I heard screeching noises from the bathroom, behind the closed door. I peered into the bathroom, to see that a small pack of lemurs were set loose in his bathroom. So I went to every one else's bathrooms. No one was in their rooms, so I figured it was okay. Bruce's had frogs in the sink, and a sticky, blue substance on the ceiling. Thor's was missing the toilet and there was a giant hammer sized dent in the metal bathtub. Steve's had graphic drawings of panda bears doing unmentionable things plastered all over it. The last one I could go to was Tony's, because I wasn't going to do my morning routine in the bathroom that everyone could use.

Cautiously I tiptoed through his room, holding my hairbrush out like a weapon. His bathroom was dreadful looking to begin with, but I didn't think that it would be as bad when Steve complained about it. On my way to his sink, I accidentally hit a pile of pants and they kept moving on their own. I guess I had to either not brush my teeth and smell like I did yesterday, or go the public bathroom. That's when I reminded myself who I was.

I am Natasha Romanoff. I am not a posh little princess who can't handle a shared bathroom. I could kill someone in five different ways with a ponytail holder. Surely that bathroom couldn't be as bad as I thought it was.

Once inside the bathroom, I locked the door. I had walked passed the kitchen and no one was in it. Where were those boys? After my shower I realized how much I had to pee. The only problem was that when I lifted the lid, someone had missed and gotten it all over the rim. That was too much, even for me, and I quickly finished up my routine and went to find those boys.

I checked everywhere. The lab, the living room, the kitchen. Not a soul. That's when it donned on me. They're up on the roof, hiding no doubt. When I got up there, I found them all. Clint was hanging upside down off the little shed where we kept the watering buckets and dirt. Tony and Thor were hugging eachother tightly, and lying in a box with catnip in it. Bruce was underneath a bench we had added. Steve was the only one awake, evaluating the damage that they had done to the plants and picking up bottles.

"What happened last night?" I nearly shouted, angry that they hadn't invited me to their little party.

"The boys got a little intoxicated, wrecked all the bathrooms except for one, and then came up here around two in order to continue their party. I had to come up here to make sure that they didn't fall off the tower. You already found the trashed bathrooms, didn't you." I pulled Clint down of the tree, ignoring Steve.

"I thought you said you'd put the rim up, you lying idiot!" I slapped him on the cheek, leaving a red mark. Clint woke up, that's for sure.

"I was drunk. Ow..." He went to sit down, and held his cheek in his palm. "I love you too, honey."


	33. BBQ

**I based the campsite in this off the one I stay at. Actually, no. It IS the campsite I stay at. I was trying to think of landmarks and important things in Idaho, and got basically nothing. This Siege of Ruby Ridge that I mention (two or tree times)celebrated it's 20th anniversary on the 22nd of August. If you don't know what it is, please do google. It's quite interesting. **

**Yes, Bonners Ferry is a real place. Yes the lake is bottomless.**

* * *

"Last year was really fun. I totally dumped that bucket on top of Coulson." Clint laughed.

"I haven't been able to come in such a long time! Plus, this is Pepper's first time, so don't spoil anything." Pepper looked at Tony with a look of fear. "Don't worry, it isn't as bad as the letter made it sound. It's almost worse."

"Says the man who tried to dye my hair purple." I pointed out.

"I must introduce you to my new friend, Agent Willis. He was most helpful when I was training in the new agents." Thor bellowed, and I noticed he wasn't wearing his cape. It was weird to see him in 'mere mortal clothing'.

"I've always wanted to go to Idaho! Have you heard of the Siege of Ruby Ridge? They've got great hiking trails, and during the winter there is amazing skiing. Plus I've read that they have this bed and breakfast that is a big house that looks like a Beagle, as well as a navy base..." Steve started up, excited until Tony shut him down.

"Shut up."

Originally I thought that Idaho would be full of nothing but rednecks wandering around the wilderness toting guns and shouting gibberish to eachother while the wives would stay at home and care for their fourteen children. Instead it was actually quite serene, with lots of green. I couldn't tell if the people were actually the redneck people I thought who wore camouflage and plaid, because I hadn't come across of any of the locals in the air.

When we landed the jet in a wildlife refuge on this little town called Bonners Ferry, behind a row of trees. Fury had sent a van out to our location, an unknown agent sitting behind the wheel. Tony whooped excitedly as we loaded into the van.

"This is going to be fabulous!" Pepper hit his arm lightly and said something softly to him.

"I wonder if we're going to have any agents at our site." Clint wondered, remembering the one time before we were regarded as avengers, when we had four agents sleeping in a tent next to ours. They had chattered excitedly all night long, ensuring that the next day we would be sleep deprived. The second night they were quiet though, because we decided to fight back, groaning loudly and shaking our tent, suppressing our laughter.

"I think after last time, they won't. Those poor agents looked at us strangely for the next nine months afterwards." Steve looked at Clint and I afraid. "Now that I think about it we should have carried around a toy baby." Bruce smiled, understanding our little joke. He hadn't said a peep all trip yet, so maybe he had lost his voice. Thor had a confused look on his face, but it looked normal there so I ignored it. We didn't need to explain that to him quite yet.

The campsite we were staying at was called Blue Lake, and was close to this Ruby Ridge Steve was talking about. There was a 'bottomless' lake, and a patio that served alcohol and had live music. We drove past a little wooden sailor, almost mistaking it for a kid, and then made it to the house. Fury and the camp owner greeted us at the main house.

"Agent Harris is going to drive you to your trailer. Your attendance to the opening rule reading tomorrow is mandatory." Fury waved us away, and the agent drove us up the road to our trailer. It looked reasonably big, but when you've got seven people I assumed it would be reasonably large. Pepper was handed the key and then the agent left.

We woke up to the smell of someone firing up the grill early to start making breakfast. I didn't think that the smell would carry as much as it did, but it made almost everyone in our trailer wake up, realizing how hungry we were. Pepper had dropped off our bag of possibly contaminated cookies off with the campsite owner for the potluck table that would be set up, so we wouldn't have eaten any of those last night. I had barely gotten any sleep because Clint and Thor's stomachs wanted to sing all night long and made it very hard for me to sleep.

The first waterballon was flung during lunch. As much as I would have loved to initiate the warfare, Hill got to this year. She was almost unrecognizable with her hair down and not in her uniform. Tony was distracting Fury, who was watching him with a watchful eye as Tony dared Thor to jump into the lake. The pink balloon exploded upon impact with his bald head. Swiftly, he turned around and retalliated after taking a bucket of the water balloons. Soon a full fledged war was happening, every man for themselves it seemed.

"Help! The R&D guys are trying to get me, and we don't want someone to come to party as well." Bruce squeaked as he ducked behind Clint and I, who had joined forces. I threw a balloon at some guy who thought he could hide behind a tree.

"How good are you at climbing trees?" Bruce shrugged, deeply breathing. I sighed and barked orders. "Clint get him in the tree. I'll stay below." A balloon blew up when it hit the tree I was standing in front of. Clint was boosting Bruce up to the lowest branch, instructing where his feet should go. I could hear Bruce counting to four, trying to calm down. I watched them, my back turned on the battle. Hill was holding down a squirming agent screaming that he was the greatest man he ever knew, which made it tougher to hear if someone was behind me. Just as Clint got Bruce situated and started his way down, he shouted.

"Behind!" Quickly I turned around, though it was too late. Steve, who I had bonded with over stereotypical Canadian food and 'Go Fish', dumped a bucket full of lake water on me. I accidentally kneed him in his stomach, making our fearless leader double over in pain.

That night We all slept like the dead, after tiring out from throwing balloons at each other and some of the agents. Thor, I guess, had been given a water gun from his friend Agent Willis, and protected all the children. Not that there were too many, because it had been nap time supposedly. Pepper supposedly had turned on Tony, though that could also mean she went to a place where she wouldn't be attacked and watched the insanity. Clint and I cuddled as he teased me about Steve dumping water on me.


	34. Silence

**Originally this chapter was 200 words. If you can name the all the musicals correctly I'll give you the title of the next chapter. I'm writing the 2nd last chapter right now, and I'm on round two of it. Because the first draft was a bit off. I'm redoing it though, and then have the last chapter to write. I'm going to cry, I tell you! It's like watching a child grow up. Except I have never. My fanfictions are my babies. **

* * *

Missions are a serious business usually, meaning that when Fury gives you a time of departure you get well rested because it's a big one. Everyone knew this. I was always quiet or gone when Clint had to sleep, so he never had to worry about me waking him up. We may not always need a lot of sleep, but every bit of shut eye counts.

I was swaddled in blankets, trying to get sleep for my departure at six. My eyes drooped, and soon I was sleeping. Then the bed bounced, and my eyes flew open. Clint had plopped himself on my bed, humming the tune to something unrecognizable. Flipping onto my other side, I fell asleep. Not ten minutes later, he had started singing.

"I'm wet with salvation!" He sung loudly, then started mumbling. Soon it was quiet again and I could rest.

"Life is painless for the brainless..." If Clint didn't shut up soon, I would drag his sorry self onto Tony's room and walk away. It was quiet for another long spell, and I slept for what felt like hours.

"Supercalifragilisticexpialid ocious!"

"Shut up!" I pushed him off my bed, and he made a satisfactory thump on the floor. A quick glance at my alarm clock, the glaring red numbers telling me it was between two and three.

"Digging the dancing queen." Clint could probably sleep through a hurricane, wake up in the morning, and start rebuilding the house. At least he was getting undisturbed rest. I laid awake, feeling that I couldn't fall asleep again. Clint will pay for keeping me up.

"I'm just a sweet transvestite from transsexual..." I had just gotten an idea. A wonderful, terrible, awful idea. Halloween was looming overhead like a stormy grey cloud. Althought I knew my idea would never work.

Turns out Fury had contained the craziness I was being sent in to deal with by five thirty in the morning, and I realized I had tried to sleep for nothing. Clint and I could have played Monopoly or something all night long while reenacting scenes from terrible movies or something ridiculous like that. But instead I was trying to sleep for a mission that was just going to be called off because he had 'fixed' the problem and now I wasn't needed. Well that was great.

The sun had slowly begun to peek out from the horizon, the cars in the street started to become louder. Sirens echoed through the tall towers of New York City as they went and corralled up all the partiers that made their ways onto the streets to pass out. I was up and dressed, ready for the day. Steve was up as well, but he was out in the city doing a morning run. I grabbed Clint's ankle and dragged him to my bathroom, then moved his body into the bathtub. Cold water soaked through his shirt. He muttered a string of profanities when he woke up.

"Nat!"

"Next time don't sing in your sleep."

"I wasn't asleep." So he wasn't asleep last night, but intentionally being annoying. "Also, how did I get this bruise on my arm?"


	35. Halloween

**You know what this chapter signifies? Five chapters left. That's right, enough to be counted on your fingers. **

**I'd like to credit Cucumbersrockursocks for giving me an idea to spin off of. Don't worry, I won't spoil the idea. I'm a nice person. **

**Also, one of you sneaky little reviews have found out what my ending plan is. If think it is you, or it is you, well then keep your mouth shut. Ssssssh. You're not allowed to guess until I post the next chapter, which I realize gives like, everything away. GOOD LORD I'VE SAID TOO MUCH!**

**To finish off my really long note the musicals mentioned in the previous chapter are; The Book of Mormon, Wicked, Mary Poppins, Abba/Mamma Mia, and Rocky Horror (Picture) Show. They appeared in that order as well, for the sake of convience. I cannot stress how much I want y'all to, if you'd like, to check out these musicals, maybe see them. I believe Broadway, as well as Comic Books, are a dying species. **

* * *

The SHIELD helicarrier was a great place to hold a Halloween party. Fury had wanted us on the ship because he had found something for Bruce to examine. So naturally, we made it a group trip and Tony helped out. The rest of us just proved to be excess entertainment for the agents and extra security. But even though we were in a professional workplace, Tony wanted to throw a Halloween party.

"It'll be a great idea! We can have some costume contests, and I'll get Pepper to order us a bunch of sugary stuff to be flown up." Steve and I were standing outside Fury's door, listening to the billionaire propose his idea to the boss.

"If you do the planning. No alcohol. Nothing that violates protocol."

"So I guess that means I can't hire the strippers?"

"No." When Tony left the room, he looked triumphant. Steve and I acted as if we were just casually standing in that hallway.

"Get your costumes ready!"

After many years of working for SHIELD, Maria had told me that every Halloween there is at least one crazy satanist colony we need to stop from stealing kids off the street, and one insane amateur super villain that wants to take over the world and turn everyone into bullfrogs or something. Usually both issues are dissolved as soon as they are found, because if there's anything that a lazy agent is good at, it's making their job quicker so that they can go party.

That night I was flipping through pages on the internet, finding a costume for myself. Clint, I was sure, had an idea already and was putting it together. Steve probably wanted to go as himself, but Tony had made it clear that we weren't allowed to go as ourselves. I might have seen Bruce in his lab as something was loading take a pair of scissors to a lab coat, and Thor was off with his agent friends again. At least the God had friends who were good at explaining everything from blenders to nuclear reactors to him.

The morning of the party Pepper had JARVIS fly up all the refreshments and costumes. I noticed that Clint's package had been incredibly smaller than the others. My package had a bit of weight to it, but my costume was a replica. Tony's was the biggest, as he had a few different packages. Bruce didn't have a package for him on the jet. The next time I saw anyone from my team was at the party.

"Uh..nice costume Agent Romanoff. You're Batman, right?" Some agent asked me, dressed as a mermaid. I just nodded, because I had already given up on telling people that I was Batgirl. No one listened to me, and the only agents who would have understood who I was were finishing up paperwork, too cool for sugar coated cupcakes and good old fashioned embarrassment.

"Have you seen Tony around? I've got to ask him a question." Bruce, who had done his own make up and everything, made a convincing zombie scientist.

"No, I can't say I have." That's when the doors slid open to the room Fury had allowed us to use, and a very realistic Darth Vader walked in. This Darth Vader was so realistic that the control panel on his chest was real, with dimensions and blinking lights. The mask was lifted off the head, and Tony complained about not having enough time to make his own so that he didn't have to hold it. Bruce wandered off. Thor had been spotted already, dressed as a pirate. Steve's cowboy hat was hardly to be missed, because it looked much more normal compared to the other costumes.

I guess agents like to play dress up, because I saw many intricate costumes. Maybe when you're given a well paying job at a high end secret service that's what you can afford. Wandering around the room, I had started a count of how many times I was mistaken for Batman. Then a woman in a yellow ball gown pointed out that I was Batgirl. I didn't think that we had an agent who looked like this woman that I had bumped into, but as I studied her features it turned out to be Hill. That's when I realized who she was dressed up as.

"That is the prettiest Belle dress I have ever seen." I only knew who this Belle character was because 'Beauty and the Beast' was one of Clint's favorite movies.

That's when Clint arrived. The party was in full swing, because Fury was sitting at a table with a laptop that broadcasted the music to every speaker on the helicarrier. Fury's festive pink wig matched with the unimpressed look on his face was priceless. But I think everyone was surprised when Clint paraded in, wearing a child's ladybug costume. It was stretched tightly over his torso, even though I was sure he had gotten Bruce to enlarge it with one of the gadgets in the lab. There was no way that the wings would have been in proportion if he hadn't. It was also to be worn as a leotard, so his legs would have been bare if he hadn't thought to put a black and red dotted tutu on. Most people in the room stopped what they were doing and started clapping.

"Let's party!" He shouted, then started dancing like a moron. I groaned, holding my head in my hands. I guess I had to give it to Clint though; He had no fear at all. Besides, ladybugs are kind of cute in a harmless way. Plus, muscles made ladybugs look manlier.


	36. Sick

**4 chapters to go. I'm so sad! But I promise I might be working on something else. I've got two plot bunnies floppin' around my head, making it hard to think. Maybe if I extermi- I mean get rid of them, I'll be able to think clearly. **

**Also, they do sell Batman shirts in pink. Just thought y'all should know. It's kinda cool, actually. **

* * *

I couldn't be getting sick. One of the most unenjoyable things for me was getting sick. While most women would be all for sitting on the couch, wrapped in a blanket, sipping meatless chicken noodle soup and watching stupid chick flicks while their husband waited on them. I wasn't one for that. Now I was seated on the couch in one of Clint's sweaters with a bucket near my feet. I had been sleeping in his bed when I suddenly ran out into his bathroom and vomited and he took it upon himself to make me feel better. Being sick with the added bonus of feeling like I've forgotten something made my day worse.

"How's your stomach?"

"A bit better. I feel like I'm forgetting something important though." Clint sat beside me, and I instincively cuddled into his side. I was wondering where the others were, especially Bruce. He probably knew what was wrong with me. But Clint was convinced this was just a little cold, but in my gut I almost knew it was more. My stomach grumbled.

"I'll go make you a sandwich." Clint ran off to the stomach, and when he returned he was holding a peanut butter sandwich. Hungrily, I took a large bite into it. It tasted foul.

"This peanut butter tastes weird."

"Thor always uses it though." Taking another bite of it, the sandwich still tasted odd. I held it out to Clint, and he took a bite. "It's perfectly fine. If you want, I'll go make you some soup and I'll finish the sandwich." Soup sounded really good right now.

Eventually, Clint returned with a mug full of soup for me. While I was waiting, I counted the holes in his sweater. This old purple sweater had a few holes, but each one of them had a story. Like the one in the pocket, that had come from the time he kept a pair of scissors in there and was playing with them. A little tiny hole from the time he accidentally poked himself with a roasting stick when we were making s'mores at one of the SHIELD get togethers.

"Darling, why are you crying?" A very worried Clint asked. We were watching the second season finale of My Little Pony, and it was heartbreaking. I hugged Clint, burying my face into his shoulder.

"It's just so sad!"

"Nat, do you want Tony to see you crying over ponies?" I shook my head, and realized he was right. I was blowing this whole situation out of proportion. I was a grown adult watching a child's show and crying over the fact that two ponies might not be getting married.

When we finished watching the episode, I was fine again. I guess I had fallen asleep, so Clint went to his room and got his action figures and was sprawled on the floor, playing. It was quite comical to listen to, so I tried to make him think I was asleep. But eventually I would have to get up, because I really needed to pee.

"Clint, can you help me up? Both my legs fell asleep."

"Sure!" He looked excited to be doing things again. When I stood up, my head spun. After steadying myself, I wandered down the hall to the bathroom. Back in the living room, Clint was cleaning up my mess. I felt rather bad about making him clean up my mess, but I was just so dazed and confused. Trying to be helpful though, I carried my mug to the kitchen and put it in the dishwasher.

"You know you didn't need to do that, right? I want you to get better." Clint said when I stumbled back into the living room. Back on the couch, I put my head on his shoulder. He lightly kissed my forehead.

"Maybe you should go talk with Bruce. He is a doctor."

"It's probably nothing. I'll wake up tomorrow and it will be gone, and I can go kick your but in sparring again." I laughed. Clint chuckled lightly.

"I hope you do. I miss getting my but kicked. Besides, you're going to need to practice so that we can get some really cool costumes and patrol some other city pretending to be Batgirl and Merida. I'm working on the Merida thing though, because she's a girl and I'm not." Only Clint would say such a thing.

"I love you."

"Love you too." We kissed, but I broke away early. I remembered what I had forgotten. "What's wrong?" I wasn't quite sure about what was wrong at the moment either, so I didn't give him the real answer.

"Nothing. But you shouldn't be kissing me, because I'm sick. Wouldn't want that to catch onto you."

Later that night, after Clint had tucked me in, I laid awake debating if I should go see Bruce or not. I padded down the hallway to the lab, still wearing Clint's sweater. Sure enough, the doctor was in, poking around some statistics on one of Tony's screens. Steve was in the lab as well, sitting on one of the counters, shirt off with a bunch of things stuck on him. I walked into the lab just as Bruce was explaining to Steve what all the colors and percentages meant.

"Hello Natasha." Steve blushed, and I felt bad for the soldier.

"Hello boys. Bruce, can I talk to you for a second?" Bruce put his glasses down on the counter, next to Steve's shirt.

"Sure." He followed me into the hall. I told him about how I was sick today, and about what I had remembered.

"I think you and I both know what this means."


	37. Mario

**Am I going to go through with my gimmick? Was it a good gimmick? I'm thinking that this story needs a little more...death. I do have the ability to rewrite chapters and stuff. Maybe, maybe not. OHMIGOD THAT REMINDS ME I saw a show about Shakespeare, and they humourized and shortened all his works. And Ophelia's scream in Hamelt had 1/4 of the audience saying 'Maybe, maybe not', another 1/4 saying "Get thee to a nunnery!" another 1/4 saying ''My biological clock is ticking and I want babies now!"and the final fourth was saying something that I forgot. Then the poor person they pulled from the audience screamed. **

* * *

"I call player two!" Tony yelled as he and Clint raced down the hall early one morning. Well, I thought it was early at ten in the morning. My sleeping schedule was messed up again for no reason, and so I was falling asleep earlier than usual, and waking up later than I thought possible. Almost instinctively I got up, until I reminded myself that they were two grown men who were just going to play a video game. Then I remembered that they were two immature grown men, and got out of bed faster than usual. Slipping on Clint's sweater, and grabbing a cup of coffee on the way to the gaming room, I hurried down to make sure they weren't doing something stupid.

"This hat is itchy."

"If you're going to complain about itchy, I'm wearing a fake mustache. It's weird."

"Because you are incapable of growing facial hair. Pepper's Great Aunt has a better ability to grow a mustache."

"Hey!" A series of rapid button presses, I had a feeling something was brewing in the room.

"No fair! You just fogged up my screen! Take that!" Tony cackled. What was Clint doing? I slipped into the room, though I wasn't unnoticed.

"Hello darling. Sleep well?"

"Too well. I think I'm sleeping too much."

"Steve can tell you how to stop sleeping so much." That's when I noticed what Clint and Tony were wearing. Clint was dressed as Mario, and Tony as Luigi.

"Why are you two dressed like that?"

"Because we rented two go-karts for later today, and so we're going to drive them around New York. But we can only use them after noon, so we're practicing." Clint calmly explained. Tony started screaming a string of profanity at my husband, after having his screen inked again.

"So you're telling me that you two were planning on wreaking fun havoc on the city, and aren't going to invite me?" Usually I wasn't one for being incredibly childish, but this sounded really fun.

"Jarvis, get me a Princess Peach costume by noon today." Tony said, as he pressed a button and shrunk all the carts in the game. "You do want to be Princess Peach, right?"

"Totally."

Later that day, at noon, I was decked out in my costume. Personally, I found it too pink and the wig was really itchy, but I was going to have fun. Clint and I sat in the back seat of Tony's car as we drove to the place that had the go-karts. The warehouse looked empty, with a single, rusty pick up truck parked outside. Tony's fancy car made it look shabbier.

"Sign this paper stating that we are not responsible for any damage you to do the city, or if the po-po pick you guys up for driving around the city." The very red-neck man said, pushing a sheet of paper with tiny print on it towards Tony when we went to get the keys.

Once we finished that, we got in our little carts and we left to go drive around. We circled blocks, drove them down Broadway, and in front of Stark Tower. I had a stupid smile on my face the entire time. We would have gotten away with no run ins with the police if it weren't for the one man who thought that stupidity was a crime. He had turned on the lights and the siren, and so being the law-abiding superheroes we are, we pulled over.

"What's the problem, sir?"

"You're driving go-karts around the city. Please get in the car." Tony took his hat off and hit the officer with it. We were escorted into the car, instead of being politely asked. Not thirty minutes later we were sitting inside a cold holding cell, until our 'taking things way to seriously' office got back from on the phone with the sheriff.

"I don't regret any of this. It was fun while it lasted." I said, breaking the silence between us three. There were some cops sitting around a desk playing cards and eating donuts.

"I say we do it again!" Tony gleefully said, and gave Clint a high five.


	38. Sharpie

**1) Did you really think I'd give you what you want? **

**2)Psst...Bazinga26...Your idea kind of fueled this...**

**3)Let's play 'Spot the Rocky Horror Picture Show reference'! You don't have to play though...**

**4) It's official y'all. Close up your thinking booths, I don't need any more ideas for this exact story anymore. I wrote Chapter 40 last night with a few tears shed. Though I've got a plan. A terribly wonderful plan. **

* * *

Everything you do when you live with boys is a risk. When you can't take a shower without worrying that one of them is either cleaning your room for you, stealing your clothing for lab samples, or just taking a nap in your closet so that you can freak out when you find them there. Sleeping was a bit less scary though, because everyone usually went to sleep at night. Except for last night. I made the mistake of not sleeping in Clint's room to stop him from pretending to be a tattoo artist while we all slept.

"Good morning!" Thor greeted be cheerfully, as I made my way to the coffee maker. Bruce was sitting at the table in his pajama pants and a sweater, doing a puzzle that had boxes and numbers. Whatever it was, it looked too confusing for me.

"Thor, what's on your arm?" There were a few lines drawn on his arm, as well as a heart with a knife through it. The heart read 'boss'.

"I'm not quite sure. Bruce, what's wrong with me?" Thor asked, worried that he might be getting some sort of disease. Bruce looked up from his puzzle.

"You've got a case of Sharpieitis." I chuckled. Sharpieitis sounded so fake that I wouldn't be shocked if Thor thought it was real.

"So you're saying someone got drunk last night and tattooed Thor?" I asked, then taking a sip of my coffee. Bruce laughed.

"If only it was so simple. When I woke up this morning, I found someone had drawn all over my back. Though I'm pretty sure some of these are temporary tattoos as well."

"Well, I want to see." Bruce stood up and took off his sweater. On his back there was a unicorn drawn, though it looked more like a potato with an umbrella sticking out of it's head, and that it was wearing rain boots. "Whoever was the artist has a lot of talent." Bruce pulled his sweater back on.

"Yeah, sure. You've got some too." I glanced down at my thighs, and there was a drawing of something that resembled the batman symbol, and a temporary of a dinosaur.

"Mine isn't as bad as yours. I don't have a potato unicorn."

"Potato unicorns?" Steve asked, just back from his run. Bruce showed him his 'tattoo'.

"You've got one too, no doubt." Steve searched for this drawing, and found it on his arm. He had gotten a nice temporary tattoo of a pirate ship flag.

"This is unacceptable. Who did this?"

"Someone who is great at cave drawings." I said.

"Clint did it. Him and I got drunk last night, and I passed out on the roof again, but he came inside and got ahold of my collection of permanent markers. Don't ask me where he got the temps though." Tony said loudly, wearing nothing but his boxers and sunglasses. On Tony's chest there was a tattoo of Captain America's shield. "Don't ask." He took a cup of coffee and left.


	39. Nesting

**The 2nd last chapter. Just writing this little bit at the top makes me sad. I'm going to miss it. But all good things must end. **

**I'll tell you this much though, remember the number 2. **

* * *

My pillow was missing. I had left my room this morning to go and do some paperwork at the HQ, and when I came home my pillow was gone. How was I supposed to pass out on my bed like I had planned to if I didn't have my pillow? Inside of my pillow was a bunch of important papers that were private. Things that would change things in the tower, secrets of SHIELD's. All of these documents though weren't very old, full of new information.

I threw my coat on my bed, and rushed down to Clint's room. He was asleep, surrounded by pillows and blankets. During breakfast he said he wasn't going to go do paperwork with me, but stay home and build a nest. I had assumed that he would just make a little one out of sticks, or totally forget what his goal for today was and go back to coloring. Figuring that he probably had my pillow in the stack, I kicked off my shoes and laid down beside him. He was on his side, his knees drawn up to his chest. When I watched him sleep, I had flashbacks to times on missions where we got captured together, or sometimes when we first had met. I was pretending to be someone I wasn't, because I wasn't working.

Because that first night he had caught me, I watched him sleep. Well, I thought he wasn't asleep, but Clint told me he really had been asleep. Though I wasn't to big on him at the time, one of the reasons I stayed awake was in case someone came to get me and tried to kill him. I couldn't let that happen. There was just something unexplanable about him then. Some thing he still has because it stopped me from destroying his nest and taking my pillow back.

Flipping onto my side facing Clint, I fell asleep. When I woke up again, he had snuggled into my side. He was already awake though, and was tracing cirles on my arm. I felt very groggy, and wasn't sure how long I had been sleeping.

"I noticed you were wearing the office shoes. Anything important?"

"Other than filling out files and getting an angry rant from Hill about how Fury was being reckless again.'' Clint laughed.

"I think we need to build a bigger nest." He said when I went to stretch my legs and kicked a bunch of sheets off the bed.

"We just might. I'll go steal every one else's sheets, and meet you in the living room."

"Good plan."

With my last set of sheets in my arms, I rushed down to the living room. Clint had already started building the larger nest, and the first layer on the ground to provide cushion was already put down. I dropped Thor's sheets on the both of us building the nest, we were done just before everyone started to come home from various activities. Steve had taken Thor to a museum, and since it was a science museum Bruce had thought to tag along. Poor Tony though had been dragged along with Pepper to some meeting or something.

"Where can I find one of these lions to fight against?" Thor asked, when they walked through the door. Bruce smiled, but soon was shocked to find that we had stolen all the sheets and built a nest. Steve had already noticed, ignored our insanity, and went off to the kitchen to start supper.

"What is this? I was going to sleep tonight, but now I can't!" Bruce said, then started deeply breathing. Thor had chuckled at our little mess, and went to obtain a lion off the internet. We all had started to wish that his agent friends hadn't taught him how to buy things off the internet.

"There are sheets in the closet in the hall. Tony thought to put some little boy sheets in there though as a joke, so I think we'd all be most comfortable if you used the hulk ones. If not, I might not be able to repress the horrible jokes." Clint said, sitting up. He had been lying on his stomach coloring away at a picture of Thor. I looked at him, a bit confused.

"But we don't have any sheets with our faces on them."

"Tony thought to make some with my face on them, and you used to have some with your face on them until he replaced them with Batman ones." We both laughed, and noticed Bruce had left the living room. Clint went back to coloring.

"What are those papers in your pocket?" I had taken them out of my pillow.

"Nothing. I'll be right back, I need to put my shoes back in my room. And see if these sheets still exist."


	40. Fire

**This is the last chapter, and I'm actually quite sad right now. I love y'all for sticking around and reading my little mess of stuff. Read it, review it, show it to your friends. I'm going to miss writing and updating and seeing your loving reviews in my email. it made me very happy to know that you all read my story. **

**So there is a poll on my profile to see if you all want a sequel, so y'know...you could vote. Or not. **

**I still can't believe that my little baby that was once a one little idea that probably would never have become a forty chapter child. I can't say thank you enough. So I'll shut up. **

* * *

"Tasha, if you don't wake up Steve's going to lecture you on the importance of wearing clothing when you sleep." Clint was trying to drag my blanket away from me, and I was actively trying to keep it. I was cold.

"I don't want to wake up!" I moaned, and rolled to the farthest edge of the nest.

"Fine!" I almost knew for sure that Clint had thrown his hands up in the air and stormed off. Wrapping myself in the blanket, I stole a pillow from the sides of the nest and tried to sleep. When I couldn't get comfortable, I sat up and surveyed the mess we had made. There wasn't much, just a pile of sheets that we slept in.

After changing into some fresh clothing I went to the kitchen for my cup of coffee. Everyone else was already well awake, because now Clint had the newspaper, instead of Bruce. Of course, my husband wouldn't be reading the important news like the economy, or politics. He's be reading the comics.

"I got a call from Fury saying that we need to go out tonight. He said he'd like us to do something useful, like have a campfire, but I think we should go to a strip club. Votes?" Tony said, like he owned the place. I guess he did, but it didn't mean he needed to make himself higher above everyone else. Besides, I could kick his but. Steve's face lit up.

"I haven't had a campfire in forever! I remember when Bucky and I...We used to sing..." He started to tear up.

"Plus we can roast hot dogs! They're way better over a fire than in boiled water or the microwave." Clint added in, taking a sip of his coffee.

"What is a strip club?" Thor asked, flipping his hair over his shoulders dramatically.

A good idea turned into a great idea and soon all six Avengers ended up trying to light a fire. Tony wanted to just blast it with something, probably Thor's lightning, but Steve insisted that they learn how to light a real fire. Clint and I were put on chair duty again, and setting up the table that we were going to put the hotdogs on.

"You need three things to light a fire; Fuel, oxygen, and a spark. Don't be afraid of the fire, Tony. It isn't going to hurt you." Steve cooed, trying to get the brave, fearless, Iron Man to light a fire. Thor was watching from a distance, and you could just tell he wanted to throw his hammer.

Soon enough it was dark outside, and the only illumination we had was from the fire that Steve had started. Tony was telling Thor about the time he had made a fireball. Steve sat at the fire and looked deeply into it, probably remembering all the fabulous times he had spent with Bucky. I sat on Clint's lap, playing with his short hair. Bruce was looking up at the stars.

"Who's ready to cook wieners?" Clint shouted after he got me off his lap. So that's why he was excited about this campfire. He wanted to make bad hotdog puns. Soon everyone was cooking their supper over the fire, groaning at all the bad jokes Tony and Clint were coming up with.

"Tony, can you touch my wiener?"

"It's still cold and squishy. You need to keep cooking it until it's hot and hard." Their banter carried on for a long time, until Bruce spoke up with the best one yet.

''This is my first time doing this and I already managed to burn my wiener." Even though Tony and Clint clapped, the rest of us groaned. Almost immediately after the marshmellows were out and we were roasting those as well. Thor was quite new to this concept and threw in the entire bag though, so we only had the ones we could pick out of the fire without dying. I was convinced we would all get cancer because of the plastic, but no one else shared my worry. Not much longer after I was sitting on Clint's lap, trying to warm up, though Tony was convinced that wasn't why.

"You two realize that we can see you, right? It's not very polite to get it on in front of us without asking." I stuck my tongue out at Tony, then laid my head on Clint's shoulder.

"I thought you said that in this society they're allowed to kiss in public." Thor pointed out. Tony had said that when Thor had asked him why some people were kissing in the streets.

"You and Pepper are just as bad."

"What did you guys do in that horrible looking nest last night?"

"Nothing. We colored for a bit, then fell asleep." Clint said, as I put my head on his shoulder. I was feeling sleepy again. Tony didn't seem to believe us, but went along with our story.

"Can we sing camp songs now?" Steve asked, spinning the stick we used to move the logs around in his fingers, trying to keep the conversation as normal as it can be.

"You're going to have to teach us."

That night I learned songs that told stories of boys and girls sipping soda, an encounter with a bear, something about penguins and bubblegum, and someone's dog named Jelly. Thor thought we were also supposed to sing one of his songs that depicted a great battle, but those didn't seem to be easily taught. So twenty minutes later he had finished his tale of someone doing something heroic.

"Anyone want a beer?" Tony asked, standing by the cooler that was in the back of Bruce's van. He took one out for himself, and another for Clint.

"Natasha, do you want one? I know it's not what you prefer..."

"I'll pass."

"Are you sure?" I looked Tony squarely in the eye and said no. I put my head back on Clint's shoulder, and closed my eyes.

"Honey, you like to drink, remember?" Clint said softly, grabbing one of my hands in his.

"You guys make me out to be some alcoholic."

"There's nothing wrong with a beer or two every once in a while."

"I don't really want any sort of alcoholic substance right now." Tony and Clint gasped.

"Bruce, what's wrong with her?" Bruce ducked the stone that Tony had thrown to wake him up.

"Beats me."

"You're the doctor here! We're doomed!" Tony began to panic. I sighed, acknowledging my defeat. They would have to find out someday. Bruce smiled at me, as if he knew what I was going to say. Well, I guess he did know what I was going to say.

"Babies don't like alcohol." Clint's eyes widened.

"Does that mean your pregnant?" I nodded.

After the kiss that lasted probably too long to make Steve comfortable, Clint whispered three words in my ear.

"I love you."


End file.
